Jokes?

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thatonegermex

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I want to hear your silliest kiddy jokes... idk why..
so ill go first

there are two muffins in the oven the first muffin says to the second man its hot in here the second turns to the first and screams AAAAAAAAAAHHHH A TALKING MUFFIN!!!!!!!!!!!

hehe
 
Mother: "Benny, what happened to your forehead? You look banged up!"
Benny: "See that tree over there?"
Mother: "Yes"
Benny: "Well, I didn't!"
 
Two atoms bump into each other. "Oh my goodness! I think I just lost an electron!" says one of them. They other one looks concerned "Are you sure?" it asks. "Oh, yes" says the first. "I'm positive!"
Am I breaking the rules? I guess this isn't really a "kiddie" joke, being about chemistry and all....
 
nah its cute haha and i wouldve thought it was funny then
 
Here is a silly joke my older brother told me when I was a kid, and I thought it was totally funny (back then!!!).


Question: What is orange and lying in a ditch?

Answer: A wounded cheesy!


I told you it was silly!!!
 
How about if Benny the atom see a talking muffin, slams his head against a tree, then falls wounded into a ditch? The little boys would probably like it, even though there's no punch line...

If you just got here folks, you'll have to read the above posts to get this joke.
 
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What do you call a kid named Charles who eats three helpings of haggis*?

Upchuck!


*or christmas pudding, or borscht, or whatever food your ancestors served that you hate. I'm proud of my Scottish heritage, but...
 
What kinda animal should you never play cards with??

A cheetah!

get it! a cheetah!!!!

funny stuff right there!
 
Jilly81 said:
How about if Benny the atom see a talking muffin, slams his head against a tree, then falls wounded into a ditch? The little boys would probably like it, even though there's no punch line...

If you just got here folks, you'll have to read the above posts to get this joke.
Click to expand...
wow, very good.... too funny... made me laugh really hard... LOL
 
If this is wrong please comment

ok....

There was a boy and a teacher, and the boy said may i go to the bathroom and the teacher said, I want u to say the alphabet and then u can go. and the boy sighed with displeasure and said, a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o q r s t u v w x y z. and then the teacher said where is "p", and the boy said, running down my leg!!!!


shalom
 
This one is a bit beyond juvenile understanding and experience but I'm dying to share...

One morning, a man wakes up with his fishing gear all packed for a day at the river. He kisses his wife good-bye and walks with his gear out to the driveway; as he pulls out in his car it immediately starts raining buckets. He turns on the radio to the weather forecast, which predicts heavy showers all day. The man cuts his losses and pulls back up into the driveway. He goes back into his bedroom, climbs into bed and says to his wife, "Bad stuff out there, hey?"
His wife replies, half-asleep, "Can you believe my husband is out fishing in that crap..."
 
This was an actual announced message just before the plane takes off:

From a Southwest Airlines employee.... "Welcome aboard Southwest Flight XXX to YYY. To operate your seatbelt, insert the metal tab into the buckle, and pull tight. It works just like every other seatbelt, and if you don't know how to operate one, you probably shouldn't be out in public unsupervised. In the event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure, oxygen masks will descend from the ceiling. Stop screaming, grab the mask, and pull it over your face. If you have a small child traveling with you, secure your mask before assisting with theirs. If you are traveling with two small children, decide now which one you love more.
 
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I'm glad you started this thread, Germex. It's been fun!

This isn't a joke, but I probably would've laughed for an hour if I'd heard it when I was five. In the US when we want to say that something is easy, we say, "It's a piece of cake." In Germany, it's "You can do it with your left hand". The funny one is that in France, I understand it's "you can do it with your fingers in your nose!"
 
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