So Just What Does it Mean to be Masculine or Feminine These Days, Anyway?

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LightBright

Senior Member
Mar 18, 2017
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#21
Hey Everyone,

With all the discussion about what should be considered feminine in another thread, I would like to ask everyone just what DOES it mean to be masculine or feminine in today's culture, anyway?

The past few months, I have been watching several propaganda videos from life in the United States and UK in the 1950's. Back then, gender roles seemed clearly defined, evenif only for the camera: Dad polished off his briefcase every morning and left for work, Mom stayed at home and manned (pun intended) the home.

But in today's world where broken homes seem to be the norm and more and more people of both genders have to take on various roles in order to meet the hectic demands of life, do we still have any distinct lines as to what is considered masculine or feminine?

For instance, I know one of the chores I hated taking over after my ex-husband left was mowing the lawn. NOTHING about that entire task--being covered in dirt and yard clippings, changing the oil, sharpening the blade with a file--felt feminine to me in any way, shape, or form. But of course, it was a job that needed to be done, and so it's not like there was a choice.

And so, this topic has me thinking about such things as:

* Is washing dishes (and doing other various domestic chores) masculine or feminine?

* Is working on cars, or shooting a gun masculine or feminine?

* Is caring about your appearance and putting a lot of effort into self-care masculine or feminine?

* Is being good with technology and computers masculine or feminine?

* Is choosing to wear a scent, like perfume or cologne, masculine or feminine?

* Is being a single parent masculine or feminine, since any single parent feels the burden of trying to fill BOTH roles?

And so the list goes on. If everything these days seems to be one big blur, how DO we define what's masculine or feminine in our modern world?

Feel free to share any thoughts you may have on this topic, but as a conversation starter, how would you finish the following statements:

1. Being feminine means...

2. Being unfeminine means...

3. Being masculine means...

4. Being unmasculine means...


I find this to be a fascinating topic, and I'm looking forward to hearing your thoughts. :)
In today's culture those things don't exist because millenials are the smartest generation so far (insert sarcastic emoji). I'm too lazy to do what you asked butttt oh well.
 
S

Skyela

Guest
#22
Hey Everyone,

With all the discussion about what should be considered feminine in another thread, I would like to ask everyone just what DOES it mean to be masculine or feminine in today's culture, anyway?
Personally, I feel that so long as a person is being their true selves, then God sees you are being true to your heart. I really don't think God judges us on how feminine or masculine we seem to other people. I feel sad for people who actually feel God wouldn't love them just the same as anyone else.
 

LightBright

Senior Member
Mar 18, 2017
2,167
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#23
Personally, I feel that so long as a person is being their true selves, then God sees you are being true to your heart. I really don't think God judges us on how feminine or masculine we seem to other people. I feel sad for people who actually feel God wouldn't love them just the same as anyone else.
Well i kinda agree because the way others feel FOR THE MOST PART is irrelevant but God still has rules and femininity and masculinity are a thing based off of the Bible, or at least roles for each are specified. I think voddie bauchem ( i doubt i spelled that right) did a good couple sermons on the topic. It was for marriage but also went into each genders roles for the most part so maybe look up the sermon series whoever reads this. Anyway being ourselves is kinda irrelevant in God's eyes we are to be like Jesus and if something conflicts with God's will it should be changed even if it's your personality or your " true self" as you put it. I could've taken your post out of context, if so I'm sorry. Anyway God bless
 
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Skyela

Guest
#24
Well i kinda agree because the way others feel FOR THE MOST PART is irrelevant but God still has rules and femininity and masculinity are a thing based off of the Bible, or at least roles for each are specified. I think voddie bauchem ( i doubt i spelled that right) did a good couple sermons on the topic. It was for marriage but also went into each genders roles for the most part so maybe look up the sermon series whoever reads this. Anyway being ourselves is kinda irrelevant in God's eyes we are to be like Jesus and if something conflicts with God's will it should be changed even if it's your personality or your " true self" as you put it. I could've taken your post out of context, if so I'm sorry. Anyway God bless
Everyone's spiritual journey and relationship with God is personal. Jesus loves ALL. A person can't help how they look, it's how they were born. A person can't help but be who they are. I said that my comment was my personal opinion, and it still stands. The Jesus I know wouldn't turn his back on someone because they seem less feminine or masculine according to society.
 
T

theanointedsinner

Guest
#25
I don't know what feminine or masculine means these days, that is like pointing to the color grey and ask me if that color is white or black

the distinction have been blurred

but try this (think about the text)

feminine

masculine

I believe the terminology in terms of text ultimately boils down to the font and want we normally associate with it, and just like the font, it "signals" us what we judge, so it's simply becomes "subconscious interpretation of signals" based on what we are conditioned to believe as feminine and masculine.
 

LightBright

Senior Member
Mar 18, 2017
2,167
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#26
Everyone's spiritual journey and relationship with God is personal. Jesus loves ALL. A person can't help how they look, it's how they were born. A person can't help but be who they are. I said that my comment was my personal opinion, and it still stands. The Jesus I know wouldn't turn his back on someone because they seem less feminine or masculine according to society.
I said what others think isn't necessarily important....but ok and i get the whole how you are born thing cuz i used to get called a girl constantly because i have really long eye lashes, a baby face, and long hair so i don't necessarily disagree with you there either. But we have rules and guidelines laid out in the Bible and we should follow them, and we can be something other then what we "are" it's a choice not something we can't change for example i got locs, that made it a lot easier to tell that I'm a guy. I don't act as feminine anymore, something i picked up from being around women my whole life, I don't hold my hand on my hip anymore cuz if I'm honest it didn't help me to look like a male lol. Simple things, even if they are society shaped, can help you to be more masculine or feminine and yes we should look like and act like what we are not only because we have roles but because we don't want to make others stumble. I can't tell you how frustrating it is to see a person and not even know what gender he or she is. Not only that but with the LGBT community they tend to go to people like myself, people who seem confused or just grey instead of black or white, and make them think they're bi or some crap. My sister actually told me never to marry a woman because i made a joke to her girlfriend, not only is stuff like that rude but depending on who it is it can make them question their " sexual orientation" which can cause sin problems. God loves us yes but if we are sinning by acting like a woman, or vice versa, then although we won't be spit out of his mouth it certainly doesn't make it ok or unchangeable. I'm not saying God doesn't love people for sin I'm saying there are guidelines in the Bible, there's even society and humanity as a whole that recognize simple differences between the two genders, we should read the word and follow it and understand society to a certain extent and try not to make others stumble. If our feelings or personality go against anything in God's will it needs to be fixed or at the least limited or something, our feelings or personalities aren't important, if they were many sins would be completely justifiable. Once again if i took your reply out of context I apologize God bless.
 
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Skyela

Guest
#27
I feel that someone's interpretation of the bible will be different then someone else's. Our life experiences shape who we are. We don't all come from the same backgrounds, we've all had our own path to walk in this life. Jesus said numerous times he wouldn't turn his back on anyone, so long as they believe in him. When the bible was written, society was much different. I'm not sure how a modern Christian can follow the bible's "rules" 100%, it's just not possible. I think if people worried less about how feminine or masculine someone else is, and instead put that energy into being a better person in general, doing more for others, and judging less - Jesus would be happy about that.
 

cinder

Senior Member
Mar 26, 2014
4,426
2,416
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#28
I feel that someone's interpretation of the bible will be different then someone else's. Our life experiences shape who we are. We don't all come from the same backgrounds,
That might be why most pastors have years of schooling learning how to understand and interpret the Bible and knowing its cultural context. Because the Bible has an actual meaning (which goes well beyond just be nice to people) and we don't each individually get to remold it into what it means for me so that it's comfortable for my life.
 
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Skyela

Guest
#29
That might be why most pastors have years of schooling learning how to understand and interpret the Bible and knowing its cultural context. Because the Bible has an actual meaning (which goes well beyond just be nice to people) and we don't each individually get to remold it into what it means for me so that it's comfortable for my life.
So I guess what you're trying to say is that you follow the Bible's rules 100% in your own life, without fail? The original poster was asking what people consider to be feminine and masculine in society today. What I'm trying to say is that when the Bible was written, society was much different. So if you're going by the "rules" of that time....it's pretty hard to adhere to them 100%. It's just reality. Be a good person and there's nothing to worry about. Judging others isn't our job. Have a blessed day.
 

17Bees

Senior Member
Oct 14, 2016
1,380
813
113
#30
So I guess what you're trying to say is that you follow the Bible's rules 100% in your own life, without fail? The original poster was asking what people consider to be feminine and masculine in society today. What I'm trying to say is that when the Bible was written, society was much different. So if you're going by the "rules" of that time....it's pretty hard to adhere to them 100%. It's just reality. Be a good person and there's nothing to worry about. Judging others isn't our job. Have a blessed day.
I think what Cinder was saying is that most clergy undergo years of study to understand and interpret scripture and "....knowing its cultural concept" or in other words, knowing that (as you said) society changes. So, it's kind of a big job for a pastor to communicate scripture and apply it to current standards. Too, it's good to be a good person, you're not wrong about that, but what is the interpretation of that? I remember one time a deacon of a church told me that it's good to have a testimony or a story to tell about your life and journey to faith, but it's incumbent for discipleship to go beyond that story in order to portray scripture with the ability to apply it to other's lives. Sometimes, you will even find that it IS our job to judge. Sometimes you'll find it's time to wipe our feet and walk away, and most of the time it's our job to discern.
 
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Skyela

Guest
#31
I understand that church clergy have to undergo years of study. I understand the dedication, having family members who are clergy. But one thing to remember is that many Christians don't attend church. It doesn't make their relationship with God any less valid or important.

I understand it must be hard for pastors to relate the Bible to today's society. But that's just my point. It must be molded to today's society in order for people to relate. For example, the Bible says it's okay to have slaves, beat your wife, and other unacceptable things. Should we adhere to what it says, by today's societal standards?

Discernment. Yes, exactly. That was my point. Decide what makes sense for you. Don't tell others what their own personal walk with God should be like. We're all individual.

Have a wonderful day.
 

LightBright

Senior Member
Mar 18, 2017
2,167
849
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#32
I understand it must be hard for pastors to relate the Bible to today's society. But that's just my point. It must be molded to today's society in order for people to relate. For example, the Bible says it's okay to have slaves, beat your wife, and other unacceptable things. Should we adhere to what it says, by today's societal standards?

Discernment. Yes, exactly. That was my point. Decide what makes sense for you. Don't tell others what their own personal walk with God should be like. We're all individual.

Have a wonderful day.[/QUOTE]
None of those things are said to be ok in the Bible most of those things WERE ok because the old testament and sometimes just a difference in vocabulary. No the Bible does not need to be changed for today the Bible changes how we look at the world not the other way around, you just need to read it in context. I'm not the smartest guy I'm definitely not the most holy but I won't just sit back while you talk about the Bible basically having flaws. God knew everything that was going to happen now then he gave us a map for life for generations to come, we don't need to interpret it for our society or anything like that we just do what it says in it's context society, our feelings, our personalities do not matter.
 
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Skyela

Guest
#33
I understand it must be hard for pastors to relate the Bible to today's society. But that's just my point. It must be molded to today's society in order for people to relate. For example, the Bible says it's okay to have slaves, beat your wife, and other unacceptable things. Should we adhere to what it says, by today's societal standards?

Discernment. Yes, exactly. That was my point. Decide what makes sense for you. Don't tell others what their own personal walk with God should be like. We're all individual.

Have a wonderful day.
None of those things are said to be ok in the Bible most of those things WERE ok because the old testament and sometimes just a difference in vocabulary. No the Bible does not need to be changed for today the Bible changes how we look at the world not the other way around, you just need to read it in context. I'm not the smartest guy I'm definitely not the most holy but I won't just sit back while you talk about the Bible basically having flaws. God knew everything that was going to happen now then he gave us a map for life for generations to come, we don't need to interpret it for our society or anything like that we just do what it says in it's context society, our feelings, our personalities do not matter.[/QUOTE]

Well I think you'd be a lot less disappointed with the world if you'd accept that not everyone will always agree with you. And not everything in the Bible sits well with a lot of people. It would be wrong to not admit it and be honest, at least...for those of us who aren't pretending. Some of us keep it real. As I said, GOOD DAY to you.
 

cinder

Senior Member
Mar 26, 2014
4,426
2,416
113
#34
I feel that someone's interpretation of the bible will be different then someone else's. Our life experiences shape who we are. We don't all come from the same backgrounds, we've all had our own path to walk in this life. Jesus said numerous times he wouldn't turn his back on anyone, so long as they believe in him. When the bible was written, society was much different. I'm not sure how a modern Christian can follow the bible's "rules" 100%, it's just not possible. I think if people worried less about how feminine or masculine someone else is, and instead put that energy into being a better person in general, doing more for others, and judging less - Jesus would be happy about that.
So I guess what you're trying to say is that you follow the Bible's rules 100% in your own life, without fail? The original poster was asking what people consider to be feminine and masculine in society today. What I'm trying to say is that when the Bible was written, society was much different. So if you're going by the "rules" of that time....it's pretty hard to adhere to them 100%. It's just reality. Be a good person and there's nothing to worry about. Judging others isn't our job. Have a blessed day.
What I was trying to say is that not all people's subjective interpretations of the Bible are equally valid or correct, and that people study for years in order to overcome their natural inclinations and preferences and be more objective in their interpretation of scripture. That allows us to answer important questions (related to your last statement) like:

1) What are the Bible's "rules"? Which ones are applicable to us today? How might obedience look different today?

2) How does the Bible define a good person, a good ruler was there a more specific definition for the original words used than the generic English usage of good which basically means little more than I like it or it's how it's supposed to be (which was an issue I ran into overseas with language learning, there was no equivalent to our generic good you actually had to learn the word for whatever desireable quality something possesed and say it was that)?

3) How does the Bible define judging and discernment? If we're to know false teachers by their fruit but be cautious about judging because the same standard we use on others will be used on us, what does that actually mean in terms of the way we relate to people? And what about all those verses that talk about expelling people from the church for sin?

Basically I'm taking issue with the attitude often expressed with similar statements that's common among people today ( I can't say it's your attitude since I haven't talked with you enough to know) that boils down to we can interpret the Bible and God through the lens of what we think is right and acceptable. I'm haunted by the line from an old Michael Card song "We've made you in our image so our faith's idolatry". And I often feel compelled to remind the world at large that God gets to be who he is and define himself, whether we like all the aspects of who and how he is or not.

Just to get slightly back on topic here, I'll also say that none of the above means that I think people are right about most of what they say the Bible prescribes for gender roles, but a convincing argument is going to have to go a lot deeper than one verse or "well I don't think that's fair so that couldn't be what God meant".
 
M

Miri

Guest
#35
I’m a woman, (maybe even a lady but the votes out on that one),
but definately a woman so that’s feminine enough for me.

Oh and am I the only person who had difficulty trying to spell
feminine? 🤔
 

LightBright

Senior Member
Mar 18, 2017
2,167
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#36
None of those things are said to be ok in the Bible most of those things WERE ok because the old testament and sometimes just a difference in vocabulary. No the Bible does not need to be changed for today the Bible changes how we look at the world not the other way around, you just need to read it in context. I'm not the smartest guy I'm definitely not the most holy but I won't just sit back while you talk about the Bible basically having flaws. God knew everything that was going to happen now then he gave us a map for life for generations to come, we don't need to interpret it for our society or anything like that we just do what it says in it's context society, our feelings, our personalities do not matter.
Well I think you'd be a lot less disappointed with the world if you'd accept that not everyone will always agree with you. And not everything in the Bible sits well with a lot of people. It would be wrong to not admit it and be honest, at least...for those of us who aren't pretending. Some of us keep it real. As I said, GOOD DAY to you.[/QUOTE]
I agree people do disagree with the Bible i 100% agree I'm just saying that that's there problem not the Bible's like it or not the Bible is a perfect book if you don't like what's in it that's fine but don't pick what you will or won't follow because that's not Christianity. The Bible is supposed to make people mad, Jesus wasn't exactly popular. Now I don't need everyone to agree with me i could care less, i do want people to be saved so they don't go to Hell and you're basically on the edge of postmodernism and that can send people to Hell so no I'm not just going to sit around without saying something. I hope you are saved but no doubt your view of the Bible is sadly very flawed. I say this in love not so i can win an argument God bless.
 
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Skyela

Guest
#37
Well I think you'd be a lot less disappointed with the world if you'd accept that not everyone will always agree with you. And not everything in the Bible sits well with a lot of people. It would be wrong to not admit it and be honest, at least...for those of us who aren't pretending. Some of us keep it real. As I said, GOOD DAY to you.
I agree people do disagree with the Bible i 100% agree I'm just saying that that's there problem not the Bible's like it or not the Bible is a perfect book if you don't like what's in it that's fine but don't pick what you will or won't follow because that's not Christianity. The Bible is supposed to make people mad, Jesus wasn't exactly popular. Now I don't need everyone to agree with me i could care less, i do want people to be saved so they don't go to Hell and you're basically on the edge of postmodernism and that can send people to Hell so no I'm not just going to sit around without saying something. I hope you are saved but no doubt your view of the Bible is sadly very flawed. I say this in love not so i can win an argument God bless.[/QUOTE]

And because of this kind of attitude, many people turn away from Christianity. It's enough to make someone walk away, and that's pretty sad. If you want to "save" people, and you want to school people, then change your approach. Telling someone they are going to hell isn't exactly the greatest approach.
 

LightBright

Senior Member
Mar 18, 2017
2,167
849
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#38
I agree people do disagree with the Bible i 100% agree I'm just saying that that's there problem not the Bible's like it or not the Bible is a perfect book if you don't like what's in it that's fine but don't pick what you will or won't follow because that's not Christianity. The Bible is supposed to make people mad, Jesus wasn't exactly popular. Now I don't need everyone to agree with me i could care less, i do want people to be saved so they don't go to Hell and you're basically on the edge of postmodernism and that can send people to Hell so no I'm not just going to sit around without saying something. I hope you are saved but no doubt your view of the Bible is sadly very flawed. I say this in love not so i can win an argument God bless.
And because of this kind of attitude, many people turn away from Christianity. It's enough to make someone walk away, and that's pretty sad. If you want to "save" people, and you want to school people, then change your approach. Telling someone they are going to hell isn't exactly the greatest approach.[/QUOTE]
I didn't say that you were but that it's a real danger......but even if I did say that to someone it would be biblical as that's what many people did in the new testament just with more context, i assumed since i was talking to someone who knew the Bible that wasn't needed. I'm sorry if i offended you by being arrogant or selfish in any way but if you're offended for any other reason it's probably not my fault anyway God bless
 
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Skyela

Guest
#39
And because of this kind of attitude, many people turn away from Christianity. It's enough to make someone walk away, and that's pretty sad. If you want to "save" people, and you want to school people, then change your approach. Telling someone they are going to hell isn't exactly the greatest approach.
I didn't say that you were but that it's a real danger......but even if I did say that to someone it would be biblical as that's what many people did in the new testament just with more context, i assumed since i was talking to someone who knew the Bible that wasn't needed. I'm sorry if i offended you by being arrogant or selfish in any way but if you're offended for any other reason it's probably not my fault anyway God bless[/QUOTE]

You can't "save" someone while looking down your nose at them. Just a friendly life tip. And no, I'm not a Bible expert. I read it entirely in school, I attended Catholic school for 12 years. But at 38 years old, I haven't read it front to back for years. I retained enough to know that there are things in it that just don't sit well in my soul. Which is why I'm still on the fence about why Jesus has called to me. I've been Pagan most of my adult life. Then again, one could argue that Christianity does have a lot of Pagan roots. But that's an entirely different subject. I didn't join this website to argue with people. I joined it to share my perspective and learn from others too.
 

seoulsearch

OutWrite Trouble
May 23, 2009
16,441
5,389
113
#40
Seoulsearch starts to sing...


"Abandon hope, all ye who enter the forums... of having any kind of pleasant, ongoing conversation in the threads..."