Hi Mel,
Thank you for your honesty. I read your reply on a break from work and have been contemplating an answer for a few hours. I'm sorry if this answer gets pretty lengthy.
There is a lot I want to say but I'll try to shorten it. Sometimes when I make a post that might surprise people, I'm acting out of things from the past I have observed or experienced myself but don't disclose what they are. There are things I want to explain about the situation but feel I cannot, due to matters of privacy. The other things I wrote about in my posts were publicly stated, such as a thread.
I certainly understand and accept God's judgment. In fact, I always tell people who feel I've made a wrong move to definitely pray about it and take it to God. If He feels I'm in the wrong, believe me--I won't be able to sleep until I've done something about it.
I understand about having a heart for the lost, because of course, I've been very lost in my life, too. I don't write about this as much as I used to but a long time ago, I used to write to prison inmates who had committed such crimes as murder, rape, and molesting children, so I do understand about trying to extend compassion to others, no matter how extreme their situations or reactions. I have a very soft spot in my heart for people who have been through extreme situations in their lives, and always wonder, when I see people here who have extreme views, what happened in their life that got them to that point.
But my many trials and errors over the years also helped me formulate a general plan of action. I tend to try to just actively listen to what a person says for at least the first year or two, sometimes longer. If that happens to be on CC, I'll often just read the person's posts for months or years, and then maybe try to reach out the the person in a PM, and then go from there. Sometimes a person will want to talk. Sometimes a person will basically say, "You know what? You can just kiss off and die," and I will accept their answer either way, because I know an answer like that comes from a place of deep hurt. I'm a long-term thinker and, due to my own background, was raised to provide a listening ear, but then, after a considerable amount of time, go from just listening to starting to move towards suggesting several plans of action, which I will then try for another extended period of time.
If this too is rejected, then I will ask God for a release and then change my stance from active listening/gentle suggestions to one of stating what I have observed and concluded about a situation, as well as moving on to actively listening to the next lost soul in line. I know that God never gives up on us but I'm certainly not God, and there comes a point where gentle encouragement simply reinforces a person's current behavior.
However, it is entirely possible that I give up too soon on some people or just cannot reach them, because of course, each of us can't reach everyone, and maybe part of the reason why God led you here is because you are the person who will succeed where I fail.
I fully believe in trying to help someone, but something I've also learned the hard way is that some people do not want to be helped, and have come to take pleasure in venting their misery on others, and this is something I can't reinforce.
I'm sure this is not the last time something I write will disappoint you, and that's ok. You are as entitled to your perspective as anyone else, and I respect that, but it also won't change my general methodology (hopefully with God's guidance.)