Can no longer separate sex from sin

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HistoryPrincess said:
Let me start this off by saying I have never been abused in my life. Both my parents are godly loving people, and they did not teach me the things I'm about to say. I simply came to this conclusion on my own.

I still have a desire to marry, but the more I learn about how hard it is, the more hopeless it feels. Probably the most difficult area for me is sex. I'm a virgin in her mid-twenties who's never been asked out once (a rare breed, I know), so it's easy for me to think this way.

I've never looked at porn or anything like that. But I have my own struggles like everyone else. I have an on/off bad habit of reading smut, and no matter how many times I give in, I feel dirty. I've been told having these feelings is normal given my age. But I don't care. I'm a virgin so I'm not supposed to know about any of that stuff.

It's gotten to the point though where I can no longer mentally separate sex in general from sin. For one thing, sex more often than not does WAY more harm than good (STDs, unwanted pregnancies, affairs, human trafficking, porn, rape, incest, abuse, etc.). In fact, I get angry now if someone ever suggests sex is a good thing and natural. Natural does not equal good. It's natural for us to sin.

I don't care if it's God-given or natural. The point is I can no longer look forward to being with my future husband, if I ever even have a chance. And as a single person, I have no morally legal way to deal with my libido. I'm just supposed to pretend it doesn't exist. In fact, I'm appalled that I would want something so destructive and perverse.

I feel like I'm in a lose-lose situation. If I don't marry, then my drive really serves no purpose. But even if I do, I know I'm going to have to do a lot of mental clearing out to even have a chance of enjoying it.

There's this expectation in the Christian community that on your wedding night you just go from being a virgin to a vixen. What was once meant to be avoided like the plague is now to be enjoyed like there's no tomorrow. Now that it's pretty much impossible for me to not associate sex in general with sin…I don’t know. My point is you can't just say yes in one night after years of saying no.

If anyone wants to have an attempt at changing my mind, then go ahead.
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I think you just have to look for a man and becomes friends first. Years if possible. A man who understand that you must get to be good friends, and if something develop from that then that's a good start.
 
Tommy379 said:
What if a man smiled and said hello to you, would you speak to him?
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Of course I would. Problem is it never really goes beyond that. I've always been introverted and quiet and polite so it's easy for me to lose a person to someone else after only two sentences, in big social places anyway. I don't want to butt in 'cause I don't want to be rude.
 
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HistoryPrincess said:
Of course I would. Problem is it never really goes beyond that. I've always been introverted and quiet and polite so it's easy for me to lose a person to someone else after only two sentences, in big social places anyway. I don't want to butt in 'cause I don't want to be rude.
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If he asked you to get a drink with him, would you go?
 
@HistoryPrincess..Dont think youre grasping the question..if this guy ssked you to do SOMETHING..go for pie.ma walk..a soda..ice cream..WOULD YOU GO OUT WITH HIM? Thats Tommys original question..lol
 
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