I came out of what was my only serious relationship a few years ago. It was long, but it wasn't right.
I happen to subscribe to the "fairy tale" view mentioned above - at least to a degree. I DO believe there is a girl that is predestined for me, just as we are predestined to conform to the fullness of the stature of Christ. I believe that there is a plan for my life (as evidenced by its unfolding). I think it is an arrogant view that "God helps those who help themselves".
Of course that doesn't mean you should sit around vegetating, waiting for destiny to happen. It's simply saying that God is omnipotant, omipresent, and in control. He knows what will happen in my life, and I submit my life to His direction, so, I attribute the blessings that come to Him alone. He knows who my wife will be, and He plans her life the same way He plans mine. Why is it a fairy tale to trust that God's plan is definite?
More to the point, I feel that God has a right woman out there for me, but that is not the source of a righteous attitude. The right attitude is that I TRUST God and his plan for me, regardless of whether He has a wife in store for me or not.
I don't like it when people belittle God's role in people's lives as a casual observer who may intervene if petitioned enough. What kind of a worthless relationship is that? What kind of trust would that ever foster? Who wants an eternity with an indifferent executive?
We should be seeking God first, and all these things will be added..
A friend of mine always says this, and I think it's a wonderful truth;
"A woman's heart should be so hidden in Christ that a man should have to seek Him first to find her."
And I have decided that I want a girl that's more in love with Christ than she EVER will be with me. I pray for my wife; that God will encourage her, protect her from emotional baggage. God is not temporal, so it's not a thing for him. I might get close to another girl before I find the right one, sure! I hope if that's the case, I'll learn caluable lessons. But do not put God into a box, no matter what view you have. People can have awesome, life-long relationships whether they've dated much or not... whether they were looking for the other person at the time, or not. I have work to do in this life - it's purpose is not my temporal existance, so if the things I'd like come to be, praise God. If not, praise God!
If you are dating in a righteous fashion, there shouldn't be "failed" relationships along the way; just successes at finding out they weren't the one to marry. This is not my view in its entirety, and it's not the authority on the subject - it's just my two cents