Peace to you sister. I know in your OP you honestly are seeking an answer to the Predestination vs. freewill choice question.
I have struggled with this many times, and the answer from the Lord is always the same "My Grace is sufficient for you".
God's ways are not our ways, and our mortal minds cannot grasp His ways. Scripture is conveying to us concepts that we must just trust God with.
Proverbs 3:5-6New King James Version (NKJV)
5 Trust in the Lord with all your heart,
And lean not on your own understanding;
6 In all your ways acknowledge Him,
And He shall direct[a] your paths.
This question has caused much strife in the body not only on this site, but throughout history.
Preaching His Gospel, showing His Son shine out with love to others through us, and prayer is what we are called to do.
Dear Holy Father, let Your Peace reign in our hearts and minds. Let us remember that we are brothers and sisters in You, and that for all eternity we will be with each other and you. Use us for Your Glory and our good. In Jesus sweet Name I pray.