Would you ask your future spouse to sign a prenup?? (Poll)
- Thread starter zeroturbulence
- Start date
-
Christian Chat is a moderated online Christian community allowing Christians around the world to fellowship with each other in real time chat via webcam, voice, and text, with the Christian Chat app. You can also start or participate in a Bible-based discussion here in the Christian Chat Forums, where members can also share with each other their own videos, pictures, or favorite Christian music.
If you are a Christian and need encouragement and fellowship, we're here for you! If you are not a Christian but interested in knowing more about Jesus our Lord, you're also welcome! Want to know what the Bible says, and how you can apply it to your life? Join us!
To make new Christian friends now around the world, click here to join Christian Chat.
C
[Hypothetical] Fiance: "So, I was thinking maybe we should look into getting a prenup..."
Me: "Sorry, hon... did you say a 'cream puff?'"
Fiance: "No... A prenup-"
Me: "Wrong answer."
(Seriously, though... That would scream "I don't trust you" so loudly to me. I don't trust people easily or share much of what all goes on in my head, but to think you have that deep of a connection with someone and get that point of trusting someone enough to seriously consider marrying them and believing that they trust me as implicitly as I trust them and then they ask for a prenup... I would be totally shattered. That would end it. I would probably be damaged for life.)
Me: "Sorry, hon... did you say a 'cream puff?'"
Fiance: "No... A prenup-"
Me: "Wrong answer."
(Seriously, though... That would scream "I don't trust you" so loudly to me. I don't trust people easily or share much of what all goes on in my head, but to think you have that deep of a connection with someone and get that point of trusting someone enough to seriously consider marrying them and believing that they trust me as implicitly as I trust them and then they ask for a prenup... I would be totally shattered. That would end it. I would probably be damaged for life.)
C
[Hypothetical] Fiance: "So, I was thinking maybe we should look into getting a prenup..."
Me: "Sorry, hon... did you say a 'cream puff?'"
Fiance: "No... A prenup-"
Me: "Wrong answer."
(Seriously, though... That would scream "I don't trust you" so loudly to me. I don't trust people easily or share much of what all goes on in my head, but to think you have that deep of a connection with someone and get that point of trusting someone enough to seriously consider marrying them and believing that they trust me as implicitly as I trust them and then they ask for a prenup... I would be totally shattered. That would end it. I would probably be damaged for life.)
Me: "Sorry, hon... did you say a 'cream puff?'"
Fiance: "No... A prenup-"
Me: "Wrong answer."
(Seriously, though... That would scream "I don't trust you" so loudly to me. I don't trust people easily or share much of what all goes on in my head, but to think you have that deep of a connection with someone and get that point of trusting someone enough to seriously consider marrying them and believing that they trust me as implicitly as I trust them and then they ask for a prenup... I would be totally shattered. That would end it. I would probably be damaged for life.)
[Hypothetical] Fiance: "So, I was thinking maybe we should look into getting a prenup..."
Me: "Sorry, hon... did you say a 'cream puff?'"
Fiance: "No... A prenup-"
Me: "Wrong answer."
(Seriously, though... That would scream "I don't trust you" so loudly to me. I don't trust people easily or share much of what all goes on in my head, but to think you have that deep of a connection with someone and get that point of trusting someone enough to seriously consider marrying them and believing that they trust me as implicitly as I trust them and then they ask for a prenup... I would be totally shattered. That would end it. I would probably be damaged for life.)
Me: "Sorry, hon... did you say a 'cream puff?'"
Fiance: "No... A prenup-"
Me: "Wrong answer."
(Seriously, though... That would scream "I don't trust you" so loudly to me. I don't trust people easily or share much of what all goes on in my head, but to think you have that deep of a connection with someone and get that point of trusting someone enough to seriously consider marrying them and believing that they trust me as implicitly as I trust them and then they ask for a prenup... I would be totally shattered. That would end it. I would probably be damaged for life.)
I understand that people want to trust their spouse. But think about it. Who that HAS been divorced will say they did not trust their ex husband/wife when they got married? In a christian marriage it's a little different because you are not supposed to get a divorce except for under certain circumstances such as abuse and adultery. Which is understandable. But even in Christian marriages, the wife or the husband could be emotionally unstable and abusive, or a cheater. In fact there are many people who pretend to be chrisitian for personal reasons, such as they will make more friends, they could be in it for the same reason the pharisees were in it, to gain the praise and approval of others in the christian faith. In fact there are many PREACHERS that are only preaching for the money fame and power that comes along with preaching and they know all too well that they aren't REALLY A CHRISTIAN. In fact some of these same preachers probably view the bible as a fairy tale book and a way to get money, praise, and power. Now, I'm not saying this because I'm one of those conspiracy theorist's that like to accuse every preacher on TV of being a fraud. I'm saying this because I've seen this happen in REAL LIFE. Not on television. Some of these preachers are rotten on the inside, while promoting a facade or righteousness and morality on the outside to trick people. And I would assume that there are people in the church that aren't preachers that do the same thing. About 95 percent of the church if I could take a wild guess cannot tell the difference between the genuine sincere elect, and the pretenders.
Why do I say this? Well, some people are good pretenders. And most people do not have the experience and discernment to seperate the real from the jive. Even many real christains have cheated on their wife or husband. I've seen that too. And even the genuine christians can change. Someone can backslide or even worse they can stop having faith in Jesus down the line. Especially if they did not have a strong foundation in their faith in Jesus to begin with. Seen that too. With people on CC and with my own father.
Now I'm not saying this to discourage anyone. All I'm saying is that a Pre-Nups protect people in situations such as these. And even if a person is a christian that is not necessarily a measure of their LOYALTY. Unforthtuantely I believe there are some non-believers that have more loyalty than many people who profess to be born again christians. This may be a harsh reality for some of you, something we don't like to think about. But reality is not always pretty.
My personal opinion. Is before you marry a person try to find out just how loyal they are. Look at how they interact with other people. Etc etc.
My point is we are all human and only God knows everyone's hearts and minds. We can only judge based on what we see and perceive based on our own experiences and wisdom. We can't know everything. And it does not mean we are foolish it just means we are mere humans and we can't know everything.
Also, some people develop feelings for a person, and they ignore the red flags they see in that person because of that.
So me personally I would get a pre-nup whether I trusted my spouse or not. Simply for the fact that there is NO REASON NOT TO unless you are scared to death of your wife. It's like life insurance. Your highly doubt your going to die, but you get it anyway just to be on the safe side. And if you are scared to death of your wife I suggest weight lifting and martial arts to protect yourself. hee hee jk.
Why do I say this? Well, some people are good pretenders. And most people do not have the experience and discernment to seperate the real from the jive. Even many real christains have cheated on their wife or husband. I've seen that too. And even the genuine christians can change. Someone can backslide or even worse they can stop having faith in Jesus down the line. Especially if they did not have a strong foundation in their faith in Jesus to begin with. Seen that too. With people on CC and with my own father.
Now I'm not saying this to discourage anyone. All I'm saying is that a Pre-Nups protect people in situations such as these. And even if a person is a christian that is not necessarily a measure of their LOYALTY. Unforthtuantely I believe there are some non-believers that have more loyalty than many people who profess to be born again christians. This may be a harsh reality for some of you, something we don't like to think about. But reality is not always pretty.
My personal opinion. Is before you marry a person try to find out just how loyal they are. Look at how they interact with other people. Etc etc.
My point is we are all human and only God knows everyone's hearts and minds. We can only judge based on what we see and perceive based on our own experiences and wisdom. We can't know everything. And it does not mean we are foolish it just means we are mere humans and we can't know everything.
Also, some people develop feelings for a person, and they ignore the red flags they see in that person because of that.
So me personally I would get a pre-nup whether I trusted my spouse or not. Simply for the fact that there is NO REASON NOT TO unless you are scared to death of your wife. It's like life insurance. Your highly doubt your going to die, but you get it anyway just to be on the safe side. And if you are scared to death of your wife I suggest weight lifting and martial arts to protect yourself. hee hee jk.
C
True, but in the context of money or trust being the more important in a marriage, trust is obviously the more important; it's not enough all by itself to make a marriage work, but you definitely need it. Having money doesn't do your marriage a lot of good if you don't trust the other person with it, and if your priorities going into a marriage are to protect your money rather than know than having a deep, godly, trust-filled relationship with your spouse... something is definitely amiss and it's time to either retake an inventory of priorities or reconsider your choice of who you're planning to marry if they're a cause for concern (and probably both).
Don't get my wrong, money is important... but trust > money.
(Note: I'm not talking about naive, blind trust. I'm talking about the trust that comes from having gotten to know a person over time and from observing them and how they behave under different circumstances and what they will do under different high-pressure situations, and then further building mutual trust by demonstrating that trust. Again, if you're dating someone untrustworthy... rethink it.)
Don't get my wrong, money is important... but trust > money.
(Note: I'm not talking about naive, blind trust. I'm talking about the trust that comes from having gotten to know a person over time and from observing them and how they behave under different circumstances and what they will do under different high-pressure situations, and then further building mutual trust by demonstrating that trust. Again, if you're dating someone untrustworthy... rethink it.)
My mom and dad never had a pre-nup, that I was aware of. However, by the time they had their first child, they made an agreement that who ever asks for divorce, they take the children. By the time I came along, neither one would ask for divorce. They felt safer in numbers. 
But in all seriousness, I do see both sides of the situation. Especially if you have children. Then, it might even become more important then, as prenups can be more then just about money. It can also be about how to handle marriage problems. Agreeing to marriage counseling before divorce, etc.
If it was all about money, or just getting a prenup just to have one, then yeah, that would be a little bit insulting, and could cause you to question the commitment of the other person.
But in all seriousness, I do see both sides of the situation. Especially if you have children. Then, it might even become more important then, as prenups can be more then just about money. It can also be about how to handle marriage problems. Agreeing to marriage counseling before divorce, etc.
If it was all about money, or just getting a prenup just to have one, then yeah, that would be a little bit insulting, and could cause you to question the commitment of the other person.
phil38111: Money, fame and power? Hey how do I get in on this? None of that ever came with being a preacher for me.
Now I feel cheated...
Now I feel cheated...