stay a virgin until marriage .

[Olerica]

Thank those who responded far kinder to Pumicestone than I would have. I saw that last night and had to restrain myself from saying something I shouldn't have.

 

[PoetMary]

Fair chance that anyone who reaches their late teens without ever having had a date is either ugly, boring or cult-ish.
Going out socially with a person of the opposite sex is simply a healthy and helpful part of growing up.
Sexual activity does not have to be part of it.

But then again, I reckon anyone still a virgin at 30 (maried or single) probably does have a problem.

Okay...a couple of problems with the (I'm being generous here) LOGIC of this post.

1. It predisposes that only attractive, charming, and socially adept people have sex.
2. It predisposes that being a virgin at 30+ can't be a conscious choice.

So...let's bust few myths here:

Myth 1: You must be attractive, charming, and socially adept to have sex.

<buzzer sound> False!

The number 1 requirement for having sex is AVAILABILITY! If you are available for sexual encounters and you aren't picky about your partners, you can have all the sex you can handle.

Heck, even if you are a bit particular, you can still manage to have sex...if that is your only agenda.

Myth 2: Being a 30+ virgin is a hindrance, not a conscious choice

<buzzer sound> FALSE AGAIN!

Apart from the example of Jesus, there are plenty of historical examples of people who took vows of chastity and lived well into their dotage.

But here's the deal: It needs to be a CONSCIOUS and PERSONAL choice. If you're remaining a virgin to please your church, your family, some inner sense of superiority, some inner sense of fear, etc., you'll end up being resentful. Because chastity is such a great challenge, and because there's very little societal support of it (alas, there's not even that much support of it from within the church), it must be an EXAMINED choice.

For those who count the cost, learn to sublimate, and is determine to embrace chastity...

MORE POWER TO 'EM

We should ADMIRE and ESTEEM the self-denial and discipline it takes to maintain such a challenging choice.

 

[secularhermit]

I don´t know but sex in not impure, unless some ppl could be regurlaly engaged with it, as a drug, with many people indulged in promiscuity.

Chastity do not make ppl holy, but a social "deprived" from a natural blessing useful to have someone HOME to share his/her life (in the best cases); ´cause asexuality or aromanticism is not a norm everybody follows.

Jesus said it quite well! there are too many reasons to be eunuchs but, age, conveniences, personal beliefs, emotional or physical rejection have contributed, in the underground, to stay chaste like that.

 

[MollyConnor]

I know a lot of people that are in relationships only to tell me that they feel lonely, sad and depressed. Some of them are upset and angry that they cannot do what they want. So please note that the grass is not always greener. It's okay to be single at any age.

And it's a wonderful thing to be a virgin. I myself am one and have found that it scares the guys away. But it's really just showing me what they want. So that's a good thing!
Being a virgin, is very stress free. I don't have to worry about pregnancy, STDs and emotional/psychological damage like some of my friends do. It's a very sad thing to share intimacy with someone you don't plan on marrying and I wish more people would realize that.

 

[wisebeardman]

I know a lot of people that are in relationships only to tell me that they feel lonely, sad and depressed. Some of them are upset and angry that they cannot do what they want. So please note that the grass is not always greener. It's okay to be single at any age.

And it's a wonderful thing to be a virgin. I myself am one and have found that it scares the guys away. But it's really just showing me what they want. So that's a good thing!
Being a virgin, is very stress free. I don't have to worry about pregnancy, STDs and emotional/psychological damage like some of my friends do. It's a very sad thing to share intimacy with someone you don't plan on marrying and I wish more people would realize that.

amen on that. I am proud of anyone male or female who remains a virgin.

 

[secularhermit]

I know a lot of people that are in relationships only to tell me that they feel lonely, sad and depressed. Some of them are upset and angry that they cannot do what they want. So please note that the grass is not always greener. It's okay to be single at any age.

And it's a wonderful thing to be a virgin. I myself am one and have found that it scares the guys away. But it's really just showing me what they want. So that's a good thing!
Being a virgin, is very stress free. I don't have to worry about pregnancy, STDs and emotional/psychological damage like some of my friends do. It's a very sad thing to share intimacy with someone you don't plan on marrying and I wish more people would realize that.

Is there a safe place from feeling lonely, undeserved, sad or depressed?

I agree with you that there are ppl feeling and facing that but, I have heard also that many loners aren´t happy while having it "all". I bet God would bless His chosen one with contendment and joy, married or in the state of singleness... One of this nights, leaving the subway, a saw a person with her evident physical limitations, who is bold enough to walk UP... Suddenly I knew my shame and how wrong I am when I had almost all, except gratitude towards those who loved me with God´s blessings.

 

[PopClick]

Isn't there a point where talking about one's virginity (to those who might ridicule and insult you for it) becomes casting pearls before swine?

~~~~~

This subject (I'm not talking about this thread in particular, just the topic) seems to quickly and easily turn into a "look at me!" fest, and I understand why I have heard so many people say that virgins are prideful and have a sense of entitlement. Of course not all virgins are that way! But the loudest ones are the ones who are known as virgins and therefore those are the ones people think of when they think of people who are saving themselves for marriage. It's frustrating on several levels.

I have also written and deleted at least one response to this thread because I don't want to insult anyone, and this seems to be a subject that so many people take so personally. I don't want to diminish anybody's accomplishments or the grace of God, but I wish people would stop using virginity to categorize themselves or define anyone as "good". Because you know what? Nobody is "good".

I don't want anybody to think that I'm just saying these things because I'm bitter, so I will say that I am also a virgin. I'm just one who doesn't talk about it constantly! There are proper reasons to mention virginity (such as encouraging a younger sister in Christ that it is possible to remain pure, and giving her advice about how to do that), but overall, generally speaking, why does any random person need to know that any other random person is a virgin? The simple answer is that they do not.

 

[Shouryu]

Yay! I'm ugly, boring and/or cult-ish!

Oh, and apparently I have a problem.

Thanks Pumicestone, that clears everything up. Did you base your expert analysis on your viewing of the film "The 40 year old virgin"?

Well this is a perfectly horrible thing to say to people who have been able to follow God's commands in this area... I'm not sure what you've read in your Bible, Pumicestone, but mine doesn't say people who are obedient to God have a problem or that they should be insulted, as you have done here so harshly.

I was around 17 when I had my first date. The "ugly" and "boring" part are debatable, I'll agree, but I KNOW I wasn't part of a cult. *Thinks about the church she grew up in.* Er... well...

I know at least two extremely lovely people who are in their 40's and still virgins. They've had dates and even relationships but never found the right one to marry, so they abstained. Neither one is ugly or boring, and if they're part of a cult, they've never tried to turn me into a sacrifice.

Yet.

I suppose there's always tomorrow.

All joking aside, I admire them both immensely.

Again, I say, KNOW YOUR AUDIENCE.

If you had looked over Pumicestone's profile, you would see that he is listed as "not Christian." So, it is unlikely that he would carry a Biblical view on sexual mores. With said information, it is understandable that he would answer thusly, as it is the general response the world gives.

So, here is our chance to not dangle our faith (or our virginity) over someone's head as a Pharisee-ical robe of distinction, but instead show love and patience and inform him why we wouldn't see things that way.

Also, Pharisee-ical is totally a word. Because I said so.

 

[Shouryu]

I have also written and deleted at least one response to this thread because I don't want to insult anyone, and this seems to be a subject that so many people take so personally. I don't want to diminish anybody's accomplishments or the grace of God, but I wish people would stop using virginity to categorize themselves or define anyone as "good". Because you know what? Nobody is "good".

I don't want anybody to think that I'm just saying these things because I'm bitter, so I will say that I am also a virgin. I'm just one who doesn't talk about it constantly! There are proper reasons to mention virginity (such as encouraging a younger sister in Christ that it is possible to remain pure, and giving her advice about how to do that), but overall, generally speaking, why does any random person need to know that any other random person is a virgin? The simple answer is that they do not.

​..........

 

[Roh_Chris]

I think we should just leave this thread alone, to die a slow death.

 

[Tintin]

I think we should just leave this thread alone, to die a slow death.

Yes, like Romeo and Juliet!

 

[Roh_Chris]

Yes, like Romeo and Juliet!

*looks at Tintin suspiciously*

*Is he serious? Is he not? Is he serious? Is he not?*

Yeah, like Romeo and Juliet.

 

[MollyConnor]

Isn't there a point where talking about one's virginity (to those who might ridicule and insult you for it) becomes casting pearls before swine?

~~~~~

This subject (I'm not talking about this thread in particular, just the topic) seems to quickly and easily turn into a "look at me!" fest, and I understand why I have heard so many people say that virgins are prideful and have a sense of entitlement. Of course not all virgins are that way! But the loudest ones are the ones who are known as virgins and therefore those are the ones people think of when they think of people who are saving themselves for marriage. It's frustrating on several levels.

I have also written and deleted at least one response to this thread because I don't want to insult anyone, and this seems to be a subject that so many people take so personally. I don't want to diminish anybody's accomplishments or the grace of God, but I wish people would stop using virginity to categorize themselves or define anyone as "good". Because you know what? Nobody is "good".

I don't want anybody to think that I'm just saying these things because I'm bitter, so I will say that I am also a virgin. I'm just one who doesn't talk about it constantly! There are proper reasons to mention virginity (such as encouraging a younger sister in Christ that it is possible to remain pure, and giving her advice about how to do that), but overall, generally speaking, why does any random person need to know that any other random person is a virgin? The simple answer is that they do not.

I get what you are saying but the Bible talks a lot about virginity like it's everyone's business. Maybe the Word was written that way to encourage sisters in Christ? I know I would have appreciated knowing if others were virgins or abstinent as a teen. I always thought I was weird for not doing "it." LOL

It's really sad that some people are prideful of it. Virginity is about the Lord and staying away from sexual desires so that we can better serve Him. Or course it's for our own benefit too. I just feel that the youth gets enough messages today telling them to do it, why not encourage them to not do it for the proper reasons?

 

[MysteryReader101]

*looks at Tintin suspiciously*

*Is he serious? Is he not? Is he serious? Is he not?*

Yeah, like Romeo and Juliet.

LOL. You guys are so weird. Ohhhhh I get it Roh_Chris is Romeo and Tintin is Juliet. Awww how cute. LOL.

 

[kodiak]

LOL. You guys are so weird. Ohhhhh I get it Roh_Chris is Romeo and Tintin is Juliet. Awww how cute. LOL.

Now that is one version of Romeo and Juliet that I would watch. Lol

 

[Tintin]

LOL. You guys are so weird. Ohhhhh I get it Roh_Chris is Romeo and Tintin is Juliet. Awww how cute. LOL.

Uh. No. No, no, no. We're both dudes. Shakespeare is dead to me, you hear? Dead to me! No more three-point vertices love couplings and other weirdness.

 

[jamie26301]

Yes, like Romeo and Juliet!

No, they were eager to die, it seems. The dude sat there, said two sentences, and killed himself. I had very little sympathy for him, as I'm just like... you know, if you had took ten minutes to pay some respects, my gosh

 

[MysteryReader101]

Uh. No. No, no, no. We're both dudes. Shakespeare is dead to me, you hear? Dead to me! No more three-point vertices love couplings and other weirdness.

Ohhh sorry Tintin did I make a mistake? It must be the other way around. Tintin is Romeo and Roh_Chris is Juliet. That makes so much more sense. LOL I agree with K. This is one show that I would love to see.lol

 

[Shouryu]

I get what you are saying but the Bible talks a lot about virginity like it's everyone's business. Maybe the Word was written that way to encourage sisters in Christ? I know I would have appreciated knowing if others were virgins or abstinent as a teen. I always thought I was weird for not doing "it." LOL

It's really sad that some people are prideful of it. Virginity is about the Lord and staying away from sexual desires so that we can better serve Him. Or course it's for our own benefit too. I just feel that the youth gets enough messages today telling them to do it, why not encourage them to not do it for the proper reasons?

Actually, that's slight mistranslation. Especially in the King James, believe it or not. In the New Testament Greek, the word translated into "virgin" is actually a word meaning a young woman who has not married, not necessarily one who has not had sex. One of the reasons why the Gospels state that Mary was a virgin, and then REDUNDANTLY point out that she had not known a man. That's because it WASN'T redundant...they weren't saying, "Mary was a young lady who had never known a man...who had never known a man," they were saying instead that, "Mary was a young unmarried woman...who had never known a man."

At least, that's what I glean from Chuck Missler's lectures. It also clears up why Paul refers to "virgins and unmarried men" in his epistle to the Corinthians. That's because he isn't referring to unsexed people, he's using the Greek words for a never-married woman and a never-married man, which are two different gender specific terms. (He does NOT use the term to describe himself, however, which is what leads to the speculation that...you know... ^_^ )

 

[Roh_Chris]

LOL. You guys are so weird. Ohhhhh I get it Roh_Chris is Romeo and Tintin is Juliet. Awww how cute. LOL.

Now that is one version of Romeo and Juliet that I would watch. Lol

Ohhh sorry Tintin did I make a mistake? It must be the other way around. Tintin is Romeo and Roh_Chris is Juliet. That makes so much more sense. LOL I agree with K. This is one show that I would love to see.lol

This is wrong.

Wrong on sooooooooooo many different levels that I can't even explain everything.

This is just wrong. -.-