Gay and confused

  • Christian Chat is a moderated online Christian community allowing Christians around the world to fellowship with each other in real time chat via webcam, voice, and text, with the Christian Chat app. You can also start or participate in a Bible-based discussion here in the Christian Chat Forums, where members can also share with each other their own videos, pictures, or favorite Christian music.

    If you are a Christian and need encouragement and fellowship, we're here for you! If you are not a Christian but interested in knowing more about Jesus our Lord, you're also welcome! Want to know what the Bible says, and how you can apply it to your life? Join us!

    To make new Christian friends now around the world, click here to join Christian Chat.
M

malstar

Guest
#1
#1
Hello I have been attending church on an off al my life but recently every Sunday plus bible studies mid week and other weekend convenctions for about 5 years, however I am also gay I know what the bible says about this, but I love going to church and reading the bible. I recently told the pastor I was gay I didn't want to mislead the church, I wanted to be honest so they accepted me for who I am not who they think I am. He told me I could no longer be a member or have any leaderships rolls in the church I understand and accept all that how ever one comment he made upset me and now I never want to go back to church the comment was being gay is no different to people who sleep around. I have never done that, you don't have to be gay to sleep around. my question is this normal reaction, Will I find a church that is wiling to accept me knowing I am gay?
 
Percepi

Percepi

Banned
#2
Feb 16, 2014
903
2
0
#2
There is such a large number of churches and organizations out there, you'll eventually find something you're looking for if you keep looking.
 
Spiritual_Plague

Spiritual_Plague

Senior Member
#3
Aug 1, 2009
349
9
18
#3
Well, it sounds like you didn't really explain yourself very well. When you go about it like your confessing it like a sin, people are going to take it like you are sinning unless you are clear about what you are saying. Temptations are not sin and you are not defined by your temptations, so you shouldn't go about doing that. I think you should be clear with your pastor about what you meant, and if in his judgment you still need to be equipped in certain ways that he didn't realize, and would like you to remain off of leadership until then, I think that's something fair for you to prayerfully consider as good instruction and something you may be able to learn and grow from, as long as the pastor is of course training you and encouraging you in a way that is loving and not destructive. Give some clarity and give some grace. That's always a good first step to resolving a possible misunderstanding.
 
Last edited:
FIRE_of_ELIJAH

FIRE_of_ELIJAH

Senior Member
#4
Feb 5, 2013
388
19
18
#4
One thing, Don't consider yourself a gay. You're a big man now. You were gay prior to salvation. I believe the saying that " there's no gay can enter in heaven" and there is no such thing as "gay christian". We can call it former gay but BORN AGAIN now.

2 Corinthians 5:17 " Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is new creature: all things are passed away; all things are become new."
 
O

Ohioguy

Guest
#5
#5
Sexual sin is sexual sin... having sexual desires all humans have....
The flesh nature is to sin, not just sexual, but in all types of things.......
if these things our in our heart, this is a problem only the grace of God can help us overcome.
(Titus 2:12-13 For the grace of God (Jesus) that brings salvation has appeared to all men, Teaching us that,
denying ungodliness and worldly lusts, we should live sensibly, righteously, and godly, in this present world;)
The problem I hear in your statement is that you identify yourself with your sin.... If I lie once, I have lied,
some would say I'm a liar, but I'm not, I made a mistake and lied... I repent, confess, and keep moving forward
with the Lord (1 John 1:9 If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse
us from all unrighteousness.)...
and so with your all sexual sin and all ungodly desires. When you make statements like "I am Gay" and yet you no
it is sin you have repented of... it would be like me saying ' I am a Liar" ..... You have identified yourself with your sin, but this is not how the Lord sees you if you are his...you are his child, and if a son, you will either recieve more grace to overcome if you repent and confess.....or you will be chastised... if the Lord does not correct you, you have bigger issues to deal with, and need to really get in prayer with the Lord because the bible says, this...(Hebrews 12:6 " For whom the Lord loves he chastens, and scourges every son whom he receives.If you endure chastening, God deals with you as with sons; for what son is he whom the father chastens not? But if you be without chastisement, of which all are partakers, then are you illegitimate children, and not sons.)
So, if your decide to go thru with sexual sin, whatever it may be, and your are not correct by the holy ghost, you are not a son yet, please note the Yet....Whatever you do though, don't do a 1 timothy 4, find men sound in faith, Doctrine, and full of the Holy Ghost, living a life worthy of the Gospel... if you find someone who will say, your cancer is not cancer, it will not change you still have cancer,and you will never be healed... such as men who don't call sin sin, and have no power in the Holy Ghost to help you overcome and set you free....
Hope this helped some... Jesus Bless ya...
 
oldhermit

oldhermit

Senior Member
#6
Jul 28, 2012
9,144
614
113
70
Alabama
#6
malstar said:
Hello I have been attending church on an off al my life but recently every Sunday plus bible studies mid week and other weekend convenctions for about 5 years, however I am also gay I know what the bible says about this, but I love going to church and reading the bible. I recently told the pastor I was gay I didn't want to mislead the church, I wanted to be honest so they accepted me for who I am not who they think I am. He told me I could no longer be a member or have any leaderships rolls in the church I understand and accept all that how ever one comment he made upset me and now I never want to go back to church the comment was being gay is no different to people who sleep around. I have never done that, you don't have to be gay to sleep around. my question is this normal reaction, Will I find a church that is wiling to accept me knowing I am gay?
Click to expand...
I think the point your friend was trying to make (and please do not think I am trying to be unkind.) is the fact that the sin homosexuality is no different than any other type of sexual sin. All sexual sin is a perversion of its created function whether it is fornication, adultery, rape, homosexuality, or bestiality. It is all sin and unacceptable behavior.
 
Dan58

Dan58

Senior Member
#7
Nov 13, 2013
1,991
339
83
#7

If your not sleeping around, don't be offended by your Pastor. And you need not confess your temptations to others. In fact, you need not confess your sins to any man, confess them to God. Your pastor was not rejecting you, so why search for another church? He seemed to just be explaining to you that acting on your homosexual impulses was a sin comparable to sleeping around. I suspect he was simply warning or encouraging you to keep your desires in check. jmo
 
4enlightment

4enlightment

Banned
#8
May 15, 2013
4,307
27
0
#8
malstar said:
Hello I have been attending church on an off al my life but recently every Sunday plus bible studies mid week and other weekend convenctions for about 5 years, however I am also gay I know what the bible says about this, but I love going to church and reading the bible. I recently told the pastor I was gay I didn't want to mislead the church, I wanted to be honest so they accepted me for who I am not who they think I am. He told me I could no longer be a member or have any leaderships rolls in the church I understand and accept all that how ever one comment he made upset me and now I never want to go back to church the comment was being gay is no different to people who sleep around. I have never done that, you don't have to be gay to sleep around. my question is this normal reaction, Will I find a church that is wiling to accept me knowing I am gay?
Click to expand...
There are churches that are out there that will accept Gays, But only thing that i cannot stand, is them blind people trying to come into the churches. They had thought back then that they were cursed because they were sinners or their parents were sinners.

John 9:2 His disciples asked him, “Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he was born blind?”
 
K

kaylagrl

Guest
#9
#9
malstar said:
Hello I have been attending church on an off al my life but recently every Sunday plus bible studies mid week and other weekend convenctions for about 5 years, however I am also gay I know what the bible says about this, but I love going to church and reading the bible. I recently told the pastor I was gay I didn't want to mislead the church, I wanted to be honest so they accepted me for who I am not who they think I am. He told me I could no longer be a member or have any leaderships rolls in the church I understand and accept all that how ever one comment he made upset me and now I never want to go back to church the comment was being gay is no different to people who sleep around. I have never done that, you don't have to be gay to sleep around. my question is this normal reaction, Will I find a church that is wiling to accept me knowing I am gay?
Click to expand...

Well I guess the question to will a church accept you knowing you are gay is are you trying to change that or stay in the lifestyle? If you identify as gay and want to continue the lifestyle then your choice of churches would be more limited then if you are trying to come out of the lifestyle.I admire that you told your pastor you were gay,we sure arent all as honest as you were.I dont believe the gay lifestyle is right,but so are a lot of others not right.Im not a perfect Christian,I live in the flesh too many times like anyone else.All I can say is keep reading the Bible.If you can find a good Christian friend you can lean on and turn to for help that would be great.I hope you find the right church and the right path for your life.God loves us even when we're lost in the weeds.Blessings on you.
 
T

twotwo

Guest
#10
#10
malstar said:
Hello I have been attending church on an off al my life but recently every Sunday plus bible studies mid week and other weekend convenctions for about 5 years, however I am also gay I know what the bible says about this, but I love going to church and reading the bible. I recently told the pastor I was gay I didn't want to mislead the church, I wanted to be honest so they accepted me for who I am not who they think I am. He told me I could no longer be a member or have any leaderships rolls in the church I understand and accept all that how ever one comment he made upset me and now I never want to go back to church the comment was being gay is no different to people who sleep around. I have never done that, you don't have to be gay to sleep around. my question is this normal reaction, Will I find a church that is wiling to accept me knowing I am gay?
Click to expand...


This is a certainty that Jesus came to save the sinners.

Keep listening to his words! You won't be disappointed!

Sooner or later, he will transform you into a new creature!
 
thecreationtutor

thecreationtutor

Senior Member
#11
Jun 30, 2011
2,521
35
0
#11
Do not let your sin define you, find your identity in Jesus Christ
 
secularhermit

secularhermit

Banned
#12
May 3, 2013
8,719
75
0
#12
thecreationtutor said:
Do not let your sin define you, find your identity in Jesus Christ
Click to expand...
Allow me to say it is not identity definition, but sexual preference and, in the long run, it has a lot to do with it.

@Malstar:

Hi sir! Have you gone to the limits on that, with GOD?

In my childhood I experienced "that", not knowing what it was and, being an adult, a secular Christian, I feel I should have had the truth to know life better... In my life I knew (almost) everything, from prostitution to religions, and I´m sur you will overcome that to be happy, to know yourself better, to enjoy life the way GOD planned just for you and with a wife (a woman).
 
Last edited:
M

MaggieMye

Guest
#13
#13
malstar said:
Hello I have been attending church on an off al my life but recently every Sunday plus bible studies mid week and other weekend convenctions for about 5 years, however I am also gay I know what the bible says about this, but I love going to church and reading the bible. I recently told the pastor I was gay I didn't want to mislead the church, I wanted to be honest so they accepted me for who I am not who they think I am. He told me I could no longer be a member or have any leaderships rolls in the church I understand and accept all that how ever one comment he made upset me and now I never want to go back to church the comment was being gay is no different to people who sleep around. I have never done that, you don't have to be gay to sleep around. my question is this normal reaction, Will I find a church that is wiling to accept me knowing I am gay?
Click to expand...
First of all, that church does not walk in the love of Christ. So leave. Christ walked among sinners all the time and LOVED them!!
2ndly, the condition of being gay is a demonically induced condition. Most likely through no fault of your own!. God did NOT create you that way. But how wonderful He is to have made a way for you to get free!!
You need to find a church that understands deliverance and practices it. If you want to message me privately and let me know what city you live in, I will do some searching to find a church that can help you.
Homosexuality is a condition that the devil instigates in order to keep a person out of the Kingdom of Heaven.
Let's talk.
Maggie
 
H

Human

Banned
#17
Oct 30, 2014
1,150
7
0
#17
oldhermit said:
I think the point your friend was trying to make (and please do not think I am trying to be unkind.) is the fact that the sin homosexuality is no different than any other type of sexual sin. All sexual sin is a perversion of its created function whether it is fornication, adultery, rape, homosexuality, or bestiality. It is all sin and unacceptable behavior.
Click to expand...
Moral equivalency is a lie; consensual homosexuality is in no way morally equivalent to rape. Yes, to you they're both 'sin', but they are very different. If they are not different and all sin is morally equivalent, then by your standards a child stealing some ice-cream from their grandfather's freezer (theft) is just as morally repugnant as that same child getting raped by that grandfather.

There is no use in even hinting that a consenting homosexual is perverse to a degree equivalent to a pedarast, just like there's no use in even hinting that a minor theft is equivalent to the rape of a child.

Perhaps to you homosexuality is unacceptable, uncondonable and should be opposed just as vehemently as child-rape, but then you'd have to have the same ferocity in opposing spite, greed, envy, hatred, jealousy, anger, vengaence or any other emotion or cognitive process deemed 'sin', in all its various degrees and forms.

Would you outlaw anger like you all seem to wnat to outlaw gay marriage for instance? Of course not, because you know how ridiculous it is. 'Sin' and its apparent morally equiavlency are therefore not valid bases to create laws or social constructs from, for those very reasons. Faith is personal and voluntary, and it should stay that way.
 
Last edited:
Servant_of_God

Servant_of_God

Banned
#19
Dec 24, 2014
106
1
0
#19
oldhermit said:
Then please by all means, feel free the offer any help that you feel is appropriate.
Click to expand...
Sure. Don't worry about a building that doesn't have God in it to begin with. Be fully convinced in your own mind. You owe no one else any other thing!
 
Utah

Utah

Banned
#20
Dec 1, 2014
9,701
252
0
#20
Dan58 said:

If your not sleeping around, don't be offended by your Pastor. And you need not confess your temptations to others. In fact, you need not confess your sins to any man, confess them to God. Your pastor was not rejecting you, so why search for another church? He seemed to just be explaining to you that acting on your homosexual impulses was a sin comparable to sleeping around. I suspect he was simply warning or encouraging you to keep your desires in check. jmo
Click to expand...
His pastor did reject him; his pastor told him he could no longer be a member.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.