Streams of Consciousness & Thoughts~~~

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May 3, 2013
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I feel like a loser compared to my other family members compared to my parents even. All my cousins are married, all my friends are married and have kids and here I am... stuck.. with a job I hate.. miles and miles away from the one I love unsure if my family will even accept him.

I hate telling people about my parents. Why? When they hear my mom's name.. they say "oh you're her daughter....where do you work? What do you do?" Why? Because when she wrote her exams years and years ago she topped the entire caribbean so companies have her pictures in their offices and treat her like royalty because of the things she's done. My dad doesn't make it any easier either. He's in the news almost every week.... college students are doing papers about him.. they are asking him for lectures..one of the interns at work befriended me just to ask me to get her an interview with him... which hurt. People treat me horribly.. then when they find out who my parents are they suck up to me. I'm sick of it.

Seems everyone is doing things with their lives, being all successful while I sit back and waste away till it's time to go home to God.
You´ve got no need to compare to nothing, not even your foggy mirror, cause you are the most special woman I NEVER met.

Another "loser".
 
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ww_21

Guest
Laura, when I was 16, I dated a guy who was 20. I wish someone told me to end it. I wish I ended it. My advice to you is enjoy your childhood for as long as you can, hang on to it. No guy is worth losing that.
 

Rachel20

Senior Member
May 7, 2013
1,639
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ww_21:


Dear sis,

I am so sorry to read your post and see that you're having such a hard time.

I know it sounds extremely condescending when people say it, but the truth is, you're young. ( I am young.) You have your whole life ahead of you.
You are your own individual and you have your own identity. There's still time ahead for you to achieve what you must.

I am sure your parents didn't achieve everything they did overnight. Things are built up over time. Right now you feel unstable but it's just that phase. Everything is so new and vast, and the future seems turbulent.

Honestly I feel that way as well many, many times. Future plans, decisions, things I need to do - overwhelm me and when I am unable to finish or live up to a certain expectation, I get crushed.
These expectations are not only by others, which are actually far less, but of my own. So don't beat yourself up over those things. You are not alone.

You are a talented writer and a sensitive person. I've read your blogs and your posts, and I can say you're a highly intelligent, deep person.

I am sorry people don't see you for that, but at least you're aware of who your true friends are.

As for this guy, again, things take time. If this is meant to be , it will run its course and reach its destination. The Bible does say not to be anxious about anything.

Time is your best friend and let what must happen, happen. God is in control of everything and life is a gift. God loves you very much and even though it may not seem like it always but I am sure people around you love you too.

I love you. Take care and don't feel upset by the antics of petty people. Don't let these things get you down.
Take care, and warm hugs.


Phillipians 4:6-7


Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.7 And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.



 

cinder

Senior Member
Mar 26, 2014
4,411
2,405
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I need help , any help will do
I have been feeling doubtful of my 2 years relationship , I am 16 years old and he's a lot older , I say I love him and I feel it a lot of times but a lot of other times I've doubted and I've even broken up with him for a week but that's all. I need help knowing wether this person is the one for me. He claims to be a Christina but doesn't live the lifestyle and niether do it but I want to. I feel like my relationship is unhealthy. I need someone to talk to. Anybody please. I don't know what to do and I've prayed and prayed before but I feel nothing , someone please help
How much older is a lot older? Because at 16 (let alone at 14 when you must have started this 2 year relationship) even 5 years is a huge difference. People grow and change tremendously during their high school and university years. If you think it is unhealthy, and you want to grow in your Christian walk and he shows no interest in doing so, then staying with him is not a healthy thing. You don't need to wait for your feelings to confirm what your good sense already tells you. And remember, eventually either one of you will end this relationship or you will marry him; there are no other options. And yes I have to raise the concerns other's have about why this guy would want to date someone significantly younger, underage, and still very much developing into her own person.

Do you have any adults you can trust that you can talk to about this? Though we all do it, strangers on the internet are hardly the best resource for such important life advice. And if for any reason this guy has been asking you to keep your relationship a secret from the people you know, drop him now. That is not something a guy with pure, honorable intentions would do.
 
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MissCris

Guest
​What do you do when something you've prayed for is finally given to you...after you've given up on it?
 

zeroturbulence

Senior Member
Aug 2, 2009
24,639
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​What do you do when something you've prayed for is finally given to you...after you've given up on it?
Maybe the secret is to give up on whatever you're praying for and then it will be given to you. I don't know, maybe you should sell it on ebay?
 

Immawildthing

Senior Member
Jan 20, 2013
1,371
14
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Well I've been sharing a bed lately, with one of my friends, because I'm living at her house for now.
Just today, I got the odd news, that a couple days ago I was petting her arm in my sleep.... My fiancé was right there when she told me. His comment: "I wonder who she was dreaming of".
 
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Raine

Guest
Well I've been sharing a bed lately, with one of my friends, because I'm living at her house for now.
Just today, I got the odd news, that a couple days ago I was petting her arm in my sleep.... My fiancé was right there when she told me. His comment: "I wonder who she was dreaming of".
Haha! That's classic. :)

Recently on my vacation I had to sleep with my sister in the hotel rooms (who is a no touchy or I will bite you person) and she said I kept hugging her and snuggling up close to her. :/. Which of... I recall neither.
 

cinder

Senior Member
Mar 26, 2014
4,411
2,405
113
​What do you do when something you've prayed for is finally given to you...after you've given up on it?
Rejoice, be grateful, and don't let it become an idol in your life. Oh and keep trusting God for direction and don't think that because he's started to give you what you prayed for that you should just run with all your own ideas for it now.
 
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Tintin

Guest
​What do you do when something you've prayed for is finally given to you...after you've given up on it?
Rejoice! Do a happy dance! Praise God! I'm sorry for using so many exclamation points! I'm not normally like this! Good on you, Cristen!
 

Loveneverfails

Senior Member
Feb 18, 2013
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I realized how distant of a person I truly am. I love God and I love people, but don't you dare make me get too close to either of them. It's probably why I'm not all that affectionate. I desire closeness, yet I tremble with fear at the thought of it at the same time. It doesn't help that I've lost one of the people closest to me, yet even I pushed her away, even when she was dying - my mother.

When people ask me how I am, I'm not always honest. I don't dare let anyone get close to me. Which is probably why people don't get too close to me. If I can't share with them, why should they share with me? That's fair enough.

Sure, it's easier to share with people on the internet - they're not IN your actual lives (quite a shame since I've talked to so many amazing people on here). Even then, sometimes I can't bear to tell anyone how badly I've struggled. It's fairly safe to say I've been vulnerable maybe once or twice in my life. If I ever showed my heart I'd probably show too much and I'd probably overwhelm them.

Maybe I should go to counseling, maybe I shouldn't. Maybe I should just learn a way to trust God and people. God is infallible, yet I don't trust Him as much because Mom trusted God, yet she died. I know she's restored now. But I need her here. God doesn't need her up there. It's not like He's lonely.

I'll probably regret even thinking about posting this, but you know, right now I just don't care. I just hurt. A lot.


Youve already recieved many eloquent and uplifting responses to this, and I don't have any wisdom of my own to add. I would just like to tell you how much I love and appreciate you, and I am praying for you. Thank you so much for sharing your heart with us. <3
 

Loveneverfails

Senior Member
Feb 18, 2013
1,294
26
0
I feel like a loser compared to my other family members compared to my parents even. All my cousins are married, all my friends are married and have kids and here I am... stuck.. with a job I hate.. miles and miles away from the one I love unsure if my family will even accept him.

I hate telling people about my parents. Why? When they hear my mom's name.. they say "oh you're her daughter....where do you work? What do you do?" Why? Because when she wrote her exams years and years ago she topped the entire caribbean so companies have her pictures in their offices and treat her like royalty because of the things she's done. My dad doesn't make it any easier either. He's in the news almost every week.... college students are doing papers about him.. they are asking him for lectures..one of the interns at work befriended me just to ask me to get her an interview with him... which hurt. People treat me horribly.. then when they find out who my parents are they suck up to me. I'm sick of it.

Seems everyone is doing things with their lives, being all successful while I sit back and waste away till it's time to go home to God.


I'm sorry you feel this way, and I'm sorry you've been treated like this. *hugs*

I prayed for you just now. <3
 
R

Rush

Guest
​What do you do when something you've prayed for is finally given to you...after you've given up on it?
That JUST happen to me a few weeks ago. I say rejoice :)

Spins me out I had to wait 2 decades, but I do wonder if perhaps I was like pharaoh with the 10 plagues of Egypt....
Pharaoh - "take these plagues away!"
Moses - "Set the time and I will take them away."
Pharaoh (perhaps the stupidest moment in human history) - "tomorrow, take them away tomorrow".

*shrugs* unknowingly, perhaps I was hoping as perhaps Pharaoh was hoping, that I could do it myself so I could do it on my own terms. I wonder if we as humans do that a lot. Spose we should have all learnt the lesson by then that God's terms are always better.

Anyhoo, haha sorry didnt mean to get onto my sermon soapbox - much rejoicing for your thing i hope, Cristen :)

Blessings,

- Rush
 
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wwjd_kilden

Guest
ww: I know it's a cliché but: Be yourself, everyone else is taken.

God made you you. He knows the number of hairs on your head- He knows your future. He has plans for you.

Don't "climb the ladder" trying to get up to where others are. Most likely the people who seem to be at the top, wish they weren't

I recommend a book called Living on the ragged edge, it puts the whole "I have to be better" rush in a perspective

*hugs*
 

Fenner

Senior Member
Jan 26, 2013
7,507
111
0
I don't know why but my children and I all have cold, it's July, this isn't right.
 

homwardbound

Senior Member
Oct 24, 2012
16,107
353
83
This has been a fantastical morning.

I left my babies with my mom (she picked us up and took us to her house), and from there I walked downtown to the coffee place, where I met my new friend. By way of greeting, she shouted across the mostly empty place "You're real! I didn't dream you!"

We ordered. We sat. We talked a bit about where we are- me in the divorce process, her in a custody battle. Her ex grew up here; she's from Nevada. He left her living with his grandparents with their two kids, and he bought a house and moved an 18 year old girl in with him (he's 32), just to "help her out and keep her off the streets".

We talked about the group I'm trying to start, and she has a zillion ideas and wants to help.

She's super easy to talk to and she's loud and outgoing and funny and fabulous.

We finished our coffee and went our separate ways and I stopped into the tiny little western-themed museum that also displays the work of local artists and checked out the paintings. Most of them weren't really my thing...lots of horses and cowboys and scenery I could look out my window to see (nice and all, just...I dunno, there's so much more out there than horses and sage brush and rivers). There was one painting of a Victorian style house that I fell in love with. The house was weathered, and set by a dirt road, and the sky was stormy and kind of alive. If I'd had $300 I would have bought it.

This museum also has in the basement senior photos of every graduating class in the area for the last... Lots of years. I went down there thinking I'd find my dad's photo, but got sidetracked by a display of women's clothing from the early 1900's. The high collars of these dresses...the pointy boots...I was trying to imagine myself in something like that, standing on the porch of the house in the painting.

And then I remembered I have kids.

But it's been a very pleasant morning.
Awesome, you got a break, awesome, more will come to cherish and learn from, awesome
 

homwardbound

Senior Member
Oct 24, 2012
16,107
353
83
Thank you all for the beautiful replies. I truly do appreciate what you all have said. It'll be a long process for me. It's something I want to change, but it will take a long time.
When you are ready, and not before. I have ran storage and had people that stored the belongings and could not get rid of them, held on and still hold on. They would come to storage at least once a month and sit open up and stare

Some settled, some didn't, yet it was their time, not mine, or anyone else's ever
So they knew whenever they were ready, they were ready, any nudging, would be forcing, and I hope we all learn to let each other be, tell out stories of what has happened, and let the one reading do the deciding, to easy right?
Well that is the to me, the exact representation of God's love to all, even though we all go one day to the spirit in the sky
Love you sis take your time
 

homwardbound

Senior Member
Oct 24, 2012
16,107
353
83
I need help , any help will do
I have been feeling doubtful of my 2 years relationship , I am 16 years old and he's a lot older , I say I love him and I feel it a lot of times but a lot of other times I've doubted and I've even broken up with him for a week but that's all. I need help knowing wether this person is the one for me. He claims to be a Christina but doesn't live the lifestyle and niether do it but I want to. I feel like my relationship is unhealthy. I need someone to talk to. Anybody please. I don't know what to do and I've prayed and prayed before but I feel nothing , someone please help
Hope this gives you insight?
I know of a friend in the past, that did not believe, and was in a relationship, one day she got saved and deciding no more sleeping together with her boyfriend until they either got married or they broke up.
And she told him that, he did not leave and they did not have relations anymore, until married and they did marry and had two children, awesome, not a bed of roses.
So morrow of this sis, does he love you enough to give up everything he likes and wants of his flesh for you?
And how long will he last, for sure he would agree at first, for how long? How long is enough for you 1 Month, two, three or at least 6, it was a year for them. so I say they do love each other in denying flesh desire over the person, neither one is a piece of meat, get it?
 
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homwardbound

Senior Member
Oct 24, 2012
16,107
353
83
If he's a lot older, then break it off. He should know better than to date a minor. It won't be easy to. But it's needed. He's no good for you and isn't someone you want to be with if he can't even wait to simply date you until you're 18.
Sis you just reminded me of the Application I had given out to all those that wanted to date my Daughter, and it asked rigorous ?'s, and at the end of this three page questionnaire, it stated allow, 3 years to process, she was 15 at that time.
so yep, and I think that now there should be an official application for passing to date our daughters, and if man could start seeing all as his daughter in love true love would have and show respect to all women, when they see them and see them as Sister and or Daughter in God's love, period, just how I have come to see, and did not always see it this way, yet am and have been taught this
So all men reading think on this wise please, all women think on this wise as well, when seeing men think, they are yuor Son's or your Brothers please
The perniciousness in this world has gone tooooooooooo far compassion has been thrown out the window for many, and here it is sticking around, so I thank you all to see reality over stupidity and give up what you think you might need at the moment for what you know you need in the long run, Love eternal

Sorry went on a rampage, remembering all the guys I warded off, only thinking of themselves, which I had when I was younger as well, tempted as all get tempted, yet decided what is is not to be with me, and turned to God for the help IO needed to understand and stood right there at the throne of grace,not budging, to hear and know, how to truly love neighbor as God through Son loved me.
Praying all here do the same and do not give up to know how deep this love is for you, and all