Streams of Consciousness & Thoughts~~~

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I haven't been able to settle on anything tonight...tried watching a movie, but I hate just sitting there. Tried starting another book, but wasn't feeling it. Tried painting, but my hands aren't cooperating tonight.

I keep thinking about the offer I turned down earlier. Not because I want to or wish I had accepted it, but the reasons why anybody would accept a deal like that. The whole "I barely know you and don't even really like you as a person but we can still have sex" type of deal. I find it sad that either person involved is ok with that. I find it sad that I used to be that type of person. It kinda sucks to realize how little I valued myself. Anyway...

I should have eaten dinner. Why didn't I eat dinner?! I'm gonna eat dinner.
 
Searching4Truth said:
I lie in bed pondering the life I live. I wonder about all my sins and if they will prohibit me access into heaven. I wonder about things about the Bible, and all the things people say about it. What hurts the most are the mistakes I've made with people. What I'm scared of the most is what may or may not lie after death. My uncertainty is my enemy. I want to get angry, but I don't see the point when no one will understand where I'm coming from. I want to cry, but people will only want me to stop and pretend to care. I wish God would manifest himself in front of me so that I may speak with him face to face. But I'm going to be told that he's not a genie. I want to see him. I want to hear him. I'm not sure about my faith. I'm not sure about my life. I wish I could rip out of my own life and float about invisible. I'm tired of being.
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I can relate on the level that I wish I can just be shown the truth. Call me a cheater or a wimp or whatever, but what would be the point on living to never really know and then be sent to hell? I'm someone who while I would like to have some type of faith, I also want reason and evidence. Typical skeptic, sure. But I really don't want something that would only add onto the pile of many as to where I thought I was living and thinking the right way when reality was that I was not, therefore I wasted all the time that I could've at least try to discover more things and could've lived a different type of life than what was known. It still happens, hence I'm not getting anywhere.

... Oh, sorry, I'm being rude. Mind if I also jump on the bandwagon of uncertainty? :l
 
Fenner said:
Regarding your post about friends distancing themselves. Then I read Aimee's response, then I thought of my own situation with my best friend who split with her husband last year. Last year on their anniversary she was really upset. I listened to her and really didn't say much. I did say, I feel like a dope, I don't want to say anything cliche to you, or anything that would make things worse. She said, then don't say anything cliche and just listen, because that's what I need. So that's what I do.
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That's wonderful. Just listening and not trying to fix anyone is the best thing. It's actually a therapeutic technique. The counselor remains silent and it allows (or forces) the client to talk.


My personal technique working with people or clients is to listen and profile the person first. Then I will sift through various modes of counseling and choose the best for the individual. I know I seem very confrontational with people, but when I counsel, I'm very quiet and empathetic. At least at first. lol.
 
So! I don't have an ear infection. My doc said it was an allergy thing, and I should monitor it, but not to worry.


She adjusted my insulin to 4 times a day. My numbers have been out of control, so she wants to treat the diabetes aggressively. And I'm game. I'm tired of being sick and tired and feeling like I'm going to throw up. If I don't fix my numbers I could have a heart attack or stroke. I'm only 33. I shouldn't have to worry about stroking out.



Please pray for me. This is a big adjustment and this change is scary and hard.





Thanks for all your prayer and support. :)
 
So I'm wondering how much controversy I can cause by saying that I crossed out some things in my Bible earlier today. No joke I really did.






























If it makes anyone feel better I used a pencil so they can be uncrossed out later.
 
Tintin said:
Why would you do that? Just curious.
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:confused:

Because she can?

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I've not been awake for even a full hour yet, and already I've accomplished so much...!

I've been repeatedly whacked in the head by a beach ball
I spilled a full cup of coffee on the kitchen floor
I learned that if I pick up a cup of coffee, it helps to ACTUALLY HOLD ONTO IT
I swooped in all super hero style and saved the day twice
I said good morning to a chicken, a tiger, a plastic truck driver, and two children who keep calling me Mom for some reason
I actually poured out the last little bit of milk from the last gallon I bought, One day after it's expiration date, and threw the jug away

Also...someone just knocked on the door, I opened it, nobody was there...but the screen for my window was sitting there. I um...what am I supposed to do with it? It has to be put back from outside. Hmm. HMM I say.
 
That's some day, uh hour.

Want me to drop by? I am sure I can cause some extra chaos :D
 
I don't know if I can physically and mentally do this and not sleep my life away. But what is the alternative? I need to make a life for myself, I can't rely on finding a mate to help with income, my rent being so cheap, my car not breaking down, nor that my seizures to finally are controlled. There are realities in life that I can't get around. Yes, God may help me in someways. I feel pressed. I should take the manager job even though it already exhausts me and causing smaller seizures, I will need to get on more meds then which effects my memory and energy, possibly mood as well. My life will consist of work and sleep. But then I can pay off debt and be more secure if I need to move or have to get another car.

(Sorry I keep posting about this stuff)
 
Tintin said:
Why would you do that? Just curious.
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I'm working on telling a Bible story and I crossed out the parts that interrupt the story flow to help me get down to the basics of the story so other people can remember it. That's the short answer.

persNickety said:
I don't know if I can physically and mentally do this and not sleep my life away. But what is the alternative? I need to make a life for myself, I can't rely on finding a mate to help with income, my rent being so cheap, my car not breaking down, nor that my seizures to finally are controlled. There are realities in life that I can't get around. Yes, God may help me in someways. I feel pressed. I should take the manager job even though it already exhausts me and causing smaller seizures, I will need to get on more meds then which effects my memory and energy, possibly mood as well. My life will consist of work and sleep. But then I can pay off debt and be more secure if I need to move or have to get another car.

(Sorry I keep posting about this stuff)
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Don't be sorry, Miss Cris could use some competition :P
 
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