Streams of Consciousness & Thoughts~~~

[MissCris]

oooooooooooooooooo

Yyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy?

 

[homwardbound]

That moment when a huge part of me wants to be a jerk and lash out at thoughtless people.

Though, I can't even be sure it's thoughtlessness so much as carefully chosen words, words picked out specifically to let me know I'm forgotten.

Why doesn't life have a big, fat ignore button?

Maybe it does and I've just got to figure out how to operate it.

I think that is selective hearing, you know what you said, yet not everyone else hears what you said, by not reading the whole post mainly only hearing condemnation that we all get used to, from growing up, others condemning others.
"selective'' Hearing
Do we take the time to see from the other posters sight?

 

[persNickety]

*grunt* I wish I had tomorrow off (Canada Day). It's a $400 day, but I REALLY want just to sleep in and be lazy all day. After getting hit in the head twice within 1 month, I am ready for a few extra days off.

 

[homwardbound]

Oh..and Pipp..just to clarify...The whole Bella name thing is because of a conversation I had with my old Bass player the other night. His daughter is named Bella. She is incredibly adorable & I was teasing him about how I hate that he's made me be all accepting of that name again..and that if I ever had a kid & it was a girl,I would consider naming her that in honor of his daughter being so awesome. The Marie part is my Mother's middle name. I can't imagine at the old age of 43 I'll ever have a child,but yanno..this is streams..a place to ramble. If I do ever have kid's we're taking a trip to yer' place to make blanket forts. Just a heads-up. LOL

Itore, you are awesome Brother

 

[homwardbound]

Man, do I need to grow up..

Just love you Brother, we here just love you

 

[homwardbound]

I had a late night last night. Played wallyball with some friends and then sat around a fire-pit with them for a few hours afterwards. I had a great time, and it's times like that that make me wonder what the heck am I doing, moving away.

Then this morning at church during the worship songs my mom started crying a bit, and then I started crying and it felt like I couldn't stop. I eventually did, but even throughout my dad's sermon and throughout the day today I've had to blink back tears. I am hanging out with my friends again tonight, so here's hoping I have myself together by then.

I forgot how tired I get after crying.

I'm fine, though. I just don't like in-between stages, and the fact that I'm exhausted means I have less control over my emotions.

crying for me gets me past them, a vent so to speak, to carry on afterwards. Yes A man a crier you bet, and glad I can

 

[homwardbound]

Thanks! I can't stop listening to it...it just speaks straight into my soul every time I listen to it. Every single time. It's like God is connecting to me through the song.

I know the feeling and depth, for me it was rocknroll songs in the generation I grew up in, and from the way I saw it, not the way others see it, as we all know what we say or said, others either hear it or they don't, a commonality between people, connecting and disconnecting, like talking on a phone and static interferes, what?
Go Sister go, God has always got you smothered and covered in God grace, and teaches us all from whatever mistakes we all make, and only when we are ready to listen we listen and finally hear, as we grow and possible make more mistakes
So instead of trying to prove our-self's
How about ask God to improve our selves? Think God will in love and not condemnation?

 

[homwardbound]

Most days, I am COMPLETELY fine with being single.

This week, two days after church camp, two of the girls in my youth group got into a relationship with someone... FROM church camp. Granted, when a guy even attempts to flirt with me I give them a dirty look or think in my head about throwing a stone at them. It's because I don't need a boyfriend. Then....things like what I just said happen...and I feel almost "left out." It doesn't help that the girls think I should date this one guy I know. Then my youth pastor has been teasing me about him, too. While he's pretty cool, I don't really know if I like him or not. I'm dead serious. I just don't. I'm not all for dating him, but I'm not opposed to dating him if he asked. If I were to even date at the moment, he'd have to be willing to work with a huge work in progress. I'm not gonna lie, I'm a HUGE mess. So I'm probably better off not even thinking about this. Yet, here I am, thinking about it...ugh.

Sister, natural for you to ponder, and decide and feel left out, peer pressure, and decision here is not easy, I remember myself at thew young age and the tragedies I faced and went through from my own adversities in the bad ones I made.

Here I am today, still standing and without all the tragedies, I would not know what I know, even though I do wish I had not made those decisions I made.
But no matter what I made them and went through them and learned from them, to not do them. So all in all I am thankful, praying you won't have to go through them, to learn, and I get the feeling you won't, and know what decision is right to make, and do, for you do contemplate all to Father whom you trust, so
Stand tall, it is worth it, no matter what, and if ever get sifted like wheat, I know your Faith is prayed for and will always return as this is what Christ told Peter and I think it for all to come to and see as we all get troubles her ein this life

https://scontent-b.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-xpf1/v/t1.0-9/p480x480/1926877_720915147940349_1069383927_n.jpg?oh=6c5e49f7b1bbc65732853db8acce9417&oe=54247F2F

The above be God to me at least

 

[homwardbound]

Okay, I'm going to be honest and be really selfish here.

So, I'm moving. I don't know when, but I am. My friends know. When we hung out last night, they were talking about how much they were going to miss me, we need to hang out a lot, etc. etc.

Tonight I was supposed to hang out with friends. But we didn't realize that the time we were going to hang out was the same time there was a meeting at their church. So, one of my friends and I hung out and went out to eat while waiting for them to get done, because we were going to do something afterwards. Well, after they got done, a few of them changed their minds and went to a bonfire that they were invited to, and I guess the others went home.

Now, here comes the selfish part. "Aw, we're going to miss you! Seriously Rach, you will be so missed" (almost word for word) just is not meshing with the "I have a chance to hang out with a friend that is moving soon but instead I will go to someone's house who lives here all the time." One of them even thought that I was moving this weekend and still chose to go to the bonfire.

It makes it hard for me to believe that you truly care about the relationship when you do not initiate or pursue spending time with me before I move. Yes, it's selfish. Yes, I could initiate it myself. But I'm tired of being the initiator. I am selfish and want to be the one asked sometimes, to be the one pursued. And these are sweet, wonderful people, don't get me wrong. I have great friends. I'm just a little hurt. I guess I expected more when I shouldn't have. It makes me question my value to them.

And I am fighting this, I am fighting for there not to be bitterness in my heart over this, to push people away because of it, to distrust more because of it.

I just need to go to bed. Sleep it off.

All this shows Sister is where to put and keep your dependence on? Self, others, self and others or God alone who knows what is best for each of us especially through selfish times, you think?
Is God the only trustworthy one, Jesus thought and said so, and you are finiding out why.
So can say Praise God in this?

 

[ww_21]

Having an issue at work right now.. prayers would be appreciated.

 

[blueorchidjd]

 

[Fenner]

*grunt* I wish I had tomorrow off (Canada Day). It's a $400 day, but I REALLY want just to sleep in and be lazy all day. After getting hit in the head twice within 1 month, I am ready for a few extra days off.

Getting hit in the head would make me want to take the day off too!

 

[lil_christian]

Banana bread made with overripe bananas is the best thing...in the history of EVER. My mom made it like that, and so do I.

 

[MissCris]

I've gotten totally sidetracked from the original project I had been planning to do, because I have this other canvas that I painted blue the other day, and I also have a ton of tissue paper...and glue...plus all the shiny stuff...

I have an idea. LOTS of ideas.

 

[gypsygirl]

I've gotten totally sidetracked from the original project I had been planning to do, because I have this other canvas that I painted blue the other day, and I also have a ton of tissue paper...and glue...plus all the shiny stuff...

I have an idea. LOTS of ideas.

i have LOTS OF IDEAS too. unfortunately, said client isn't all that interested in them right now.

"ohh, good call, m, why don't you email me the particulars and we'll take a look at that after we finish 345334543 things..."

oh no, we have to stay on this dying lame horse until it drowns in the river and we all suffer for failing to succeed with your craptastic plans. yeah, that's the right idea. uh huh.

it sucks to be an idea person sometimes. to practically present a gift wrapped solution, but because they've thrown their $$$ away on stoopid ideas, now we're all stuck with this stupid nag.

and it sucks to see disaster looming far ahead of what anyone else either sees or is willing to acknowledge.

and it sucks that i have no one to bring me a steamy mug of cafe au lait right now. sigh.

and yes, half of my metaphors reference horses

 

[DuchessAimee]

The mother of one of the 3-year-old girls I babysit told me this story tonight:

a few days ago, their whole family was hanging out in the living room just before bedtime. Everyone was in their pajamas, but the 3-year-old came into the room in a dress. She marched into the middle of the room, put her hands out in razzle-dazzle jazz hands style and said "look everyone! I'm Hallie! MISS Hallie! *twirls in dress*

I love that she associates dresses with me I've known her since she was born and she's never seen me in a pair of pants haha so I guess it makes sense. But still. Adorable.

When I was nannying the middle child was a little girl, she was about three as well. One day she picked up her mom's purse, held it on her arm just like I do, put on her princess high heels, and "pranced about" (her mother's words). She insisted that everyone call her "Mama Mimi" (that's what the kids called me), and she wouldn't answer to anything else. This went on for a few hours.



I guess I made quite an impression.

 

[DuchessAimee]

My left ear is twingy and sore. I hope I'm not getting an ear infection. Since I was little, I get them easily, and it's just something I'm not in the mood to deal with. I have a diabetic check up tomorrow, so I'll ask my doctor to look at my ears.

 

[CatHerder]

praying for your checkup, your ear, and the forums in general.

 

[MissCris]

The glitter and the glue got completely out of control. I don't know if I can salvage this.

I think maybe more glitter is the answer.

or a match.

 

[Misty77]

The glitter and the glue got completely out of control. I don't know if I can salvage this.

I think maybe more glitter is the answer.

or a match.

More glitter is always the answer. Unless chocolate would be a better answer.