Streams of Consciousness & Thoughts~~~

[lil_christian]

At least I'll have time to sleep and later tonight I'll be going to a bonfire if it doesn't get rained out.

 

[kenthomas27]

I am one of those posters, and was put here, by however anyone wants to see it.
Disabled 100%. a year and a half ago. Was not expected to live :Foreigners Gang-green: Cut open spent three weeks in Hospital, died numerous times with numerous surgeries, And lived, don't know how, yet I was willing in tears all the way to either stay or go, and still here I am
I figure maybe and not proudly, or in arrogance, I rather would have gone already, and been welcomed to my new location, free from all stress and worry, no more pain and agony.
So in short it appears God put me here to accomplish a few tasks, and at the rate I am going, I am going to live forever
Had to add a little humor it is good for the soul
So in essence I can't work, been tested by Department of rehabilitation, and it is decided for now I can't work.
Foreigners Gan-green is a disease that kills 93% of the people that ever get it, and many complications come after it if one survives it
Now please do not say you are sorry, when it reality it is a blessing for me in the long run. this is how I see it, not at first, yet now do, and am learning much from it
No matter what I just love God why? Especially since I have not had life easy. As many do not, I know I am not alone
Been shot, stabbed, lung punctured collapsed, beaten, choked to death, was dropped as dead after I turned blue in the face, and lived.
tried to commit suicide took 26 pills and did not die, woke up sick,

And today I now know God does just love me, through all tragedies, What has not killed me only made me grow stronger in my weaknesses to trust god and God only.
This big knowing happened to me at 21, my oldest Brother passed away at 33. The Autopsy found no cause physically for his death. He was found passed away on Campus Crusade for Christ, leaned against a boulder with a bible in his hand, by hikers on Sunday morning.
I had to go there and get his belongings, and talk to the Autopsy people. I went their to San Bernandino, Lak arrowhead at talked to these people, where they told me they could not find a cause physically for his death.
And then afterwards we family that is left, other deaths had already occurred, prior, Dad and Sister. I find out that John's last words to my oldest Sister, still alive, he told her he sees now, after all his life of stressing out, worried over being accepted by God or not, as in he must do this or that, he know sees that God just loves him, and he went to campus crusade and died there

So as I have decided from that point on God is real, I have grown in every tragedy, and stood for Chirs tin all tragedies, knocked down quite a few times, and then came the blogsite
FREED AT LAST. Thank you for your comment, and I got to go know and clean the bathroom
Love to you. and Sis, just bloom wherever you are planted, and relive the stress by that, pray so

And I say Praise God you lived to tell your story. Your testimony is big medicine and you seem to me like John the Baptist shouting in the wilderness with posts that might go unread and stories untold and defenses unnoticed. And like Stephen proclaiming his love for Christ even to his own death with the clothes on your back in tatters, reigning in burdens like so many young stallions. Praise God you lived! You can finish your brother's message!

As for bible discussion - you keep proclaiming the Value of Love in Christ's Message and leave the "this and that" with those who are concerned with this and that.

 

[JustAnotherUser]

I can honestly say for pulling an all-nighter, it was WORTH IT. Better than I've expected.

Went shopping at this place I never been to before and the college I'm planning to attend to is around there. They have some of the cutest stuff in the shops, and yes, I was going crazy over some pairs of flats and I bought them. xD Who would've thought, because I was never that type. They match perfectly with some shirts I have, though. New York City is not far from there and I really would love to go there during the summer as well so I can actually conquer my fear of large crowds. I honestly can say, the pills I was suggested by a a nice user on here and actually am taking for my anxiety lessened my anxiousness when it comes to heart rate, sweating, pretty much blocking my mental and emotional reactions even though I still have to work at actually having a little less paranoia. For the most part it all went well. Once I fix myself up mentally and physically, I'm heading for that city type of life. Be who you want and nobody cares!

 

[lil_christian]

I found out that the time on the grad party invites got changed. I didn't say that was okay, though, and nobody even asked me what I thought or gave me a reason why until AFTER. Or maybe I did say it was okay yesterday, but was too sad to care or remember. I don't know...I just wished they would have held this off. No one should have came to our house yesterday. I should have said no to grad party planning.



Okay. I should really sleep. Maybe that's my issue. Though I don't feel tired anymore since I've gotten home from church.

 

[Searching4Truth]

Besides the voice in your head, what's stopping you from asking that pretty woman for a cup of coffee? Or walk?

 

[Pipp]

2nd Rustic bridal shower cake

 

[Fenner]

Yeah...also, we had to change the location, and even though my cat had just died, I STILL had to talk grad party business. Then my sister tried changing the ending time to make it earlier, and it's driving me nuts. The people OFFERED us their shelter house. She should have just left it. I made her a host so she could invite family and friends only. I thought I made that clear. I swear, I'm going to lose it if something doesn't change. I can't change a darn thing about the situation itself, and my emotions are out of my control at the moment. I'm just having to ride with them.


I'm sorry, sounds sort of stressful. Maybe you can explain that you just want to keep it simple , you may have already done that.
Sometimes after something hard happens people think do something fun and big will help the grieving person. The summer my Dad died my Mom sent me on vacation with my friend and her family for a two weeks. She fought with her parents the entire time. Thank God for her Mom and Sister for understanding that I was having a tough time. That was a long two weeks. My Mom didn't quite understand how nasty this girl could be to her parents. I'm happy to say she's not like that anymore.

 

[lil_christian]

Yeah...I mean, I get everyone just wants to be supportive and helpful, and considering my grad party is on the 14th, I DO need to get a move on things. Also, the party really can't be at my house anymore...too many boxes and too much work to do.

 

[MissCris]

Attitude Adjustment Procedure commencing ASAP:
Step 1- Wander barefoot through the rain.
Step 2- Consume chocolatey, sugary substance.
Step 3- Sleep it off.
Step 4- Wake up with a sunnier disposition.

 

[faroukfarouk]

Attitude Adjustment Procedure commencing ASAP:
Step 1- Wander barefoot through the rain.
Step 2- Consume chocolatey, sugary substance.
Step 3- Sleep it off.
Step 4- Wake up with a sunnier disposition.

Everyone has different ways of coping...

 

[Arlene89]

Oh man, it is 6:10am here. Today is Monday morning, it is a public holiday. Nonetheless, I agreed with a friend to go riding this morning on her road bicycles, the kind that cycling enthusiasts ride with all the flashy lycra. There will be no lycra for me.

O sleep in, O sleep in, where art thou sleep in?

 

[faroukfarouk]

Oh man, it is 6:10am here. Today is Monday morning, it is a public holiday. Nonetheless, I agreed with a friend to go riding this morning on her road bicycles, the kind that cycling enthusiasts ride with all the flashy lycra. There will be no lycra for me.

O sleep in, O sleep in, where art thou sleep in?

So what are you guys commemorating today with your public holiday in Australia?

Blessings.

 

[Raine]

I gave up trying to be the better person for my family years ago and started trying to become the better person for myself. I don't agree with your statement that nobody cares because somebody does.

What I meant is that no one else in my family cares to become a better person for the rest of the family.

 

[just_monicat]

Oh man, it is 6:10am here. Today is Monday morning, it is a public holiday. Nonetheless, I agreed with a friend to go riding this morning on her road bicycles, the kind that cycling enthusiasts ride with all the flashy lycra. There will be no lycra for me.

O sleep in, O sleep in, where art thou sleep in?

hahahaa, this is exactly what happened to me yesterday.

except it was lycra-free hiking and several snooze buttons later.

Yeah...I mean, I get everyone just wants to be supportive and helpful, and considering my grad party is on the 14th, I DO need to get a move on things. Also, the party really can't be at my house anymore...too many boxes and too much work to do.

not especially relevant to the above, but just want you to know that you're in my thoughts and prayers today. *hugs*

 

[Arlene89]

So what are you guys commemorating today with your public holiday in Australia?

Blessings.

I am not going to work today because it is 'apparently' the Queen's birthday. I don't particularly care whose birthday it is, I'm just glad I can spend my Monday doing menial tasks.

 

[Arlene89]

So, cycling: I haven't ridden a bike in quite some time. Not only that but I have never ridden one of these uber cyclist bikes which is completely different to a mountain bike.

At first I was worried I was going to fall forward from the way you lean to the front. I started off shabby and was constantly fearing for my life. As we went at fast speeds down hill, I couldn't help but mentally note that there was a couple of feet between me, the guardrail to the left and speeding cars to the right.

Anyways, eventually I got used to it all and was having a ball. I have a love for speed (hence why I have lost all the points on my license and am now on good behaviour driving for the next... 9 months) so the breeze brushing against my face and the endorphins from the exercise had me chirpy and silly. I was like waving to people, shouting out 'GOOD MORNING' to people across the road and grinning to garbage truck drivers.

Then there was this married couple in their mid thirties in front of us. All I heard my friend say was 'take over' and BAM, I was in Hulk mode. Some how, I have good endurance and can easily muster up this burst of energy at weird times. But I took over them while giggling like an evil imp, and this must have set off something in the man I was over taking because he ended up leaving his wife behind to try and take over me. And I had unintentionally left my friend behind too because I was... well, I was just in a whole 'nother world of my own. So he became competitive and I had an evil grin on my face and took great pleasure in the fact I was winning. But then they took a different turn and I stopped and waited for my friend who was far off in to the distance.

As I left her house this morning, she sounded very keen to go on another bike ride some time soon.... but something tells me this may not be the case.

 

[cinder]

Yeah...also, we had to change the location, and even though my cat had just died, I STILL had to talk grad party business. Then my sister tried changing the ending time to make it earlier, and it's driving me nuts. The people OFFERED us their shelter house. She should have just left it. I made her a host so she could invite family and friends only. I thought I made that clear. I swear, I'm going to lose it if something doesn't change. I can't change a darn thing about the situation itself, and my emotions are out of my control at the moment. I'm just having to ride with them.


GAH. Lord have mercy on me.

It is always perfectly ok to say, " Everyone go away and leave me alone right now. I appreciate your good intentions but I've been through a lot recently and I just want some time alone to rest and process it all. Thank you and goodbye."

We'll be willing to help you hunt for it and find it again, if and when you lose it.

 

[Arlene89]

I am one of those posters, and was put here, by however anyone wants to see it.
Disabled 100%. a year and a half ago. Was not expected to live :Foreigners Gang-green: Cut open spent three weeks in Hospital, died numerous times with numerous surgeries, And lived, don't know how, yet I was willing in tears all the way to either stay or go, and still here I am
I figure maybe and not proudly, or in arrogance, I rather would have gone already, and been welcomed to my new location, free from all stress and worry, no more pain and agony.
So in short it appears God put me here to accomplish a few tasks, and at the rate I am going, I am going to live forever
Had to add a little humor it is good for the soul
So in essence I can't work, been tested by Department of rehabilitation, and it is decided for now I can't work.
Foreigners Gan-green is a disease that kills 93% of the people that ever get it, and many complications come after it if one survives it
Now please do not say you are sorry, when it reality it is a blessing for me in the long run. this is how I see it, not at first, yet now do, and am learning much from it
No matter what I just love God why? Especially since I have not had life easy. As many do not, I know I am not alone
Been shot, stabbed, lung punctured collapsed, beaten, choked to death, was dropped as dead after I turned blue in the face, and lived.
tried to commit suicide took 26 pills and did not die, woke up sick,

And today I now know God does just love me, through all tragedies, What has not killed me only made me grow stronger in my weaknesses to trust god and God only.
This big knowing happened to me at 21, my oldest Brother passed away at 33. The Autopsy found no cause physically for his death. He was found passed away on Campus Crusade for Christ, leaned against a boulder with a bible in his hand, by hikers on Sunday morning.
I had to go there and get his belongings, and talk to the Autopsy people. I went their to San Bernandino, Lak arrowhead at talked to these people, where they told me they could not find a cause physically for his death.
And then afterwards we family that is left, other deaths had already occurred, prior, Dad and Sister. I find out that John's last words to my oldest Sister, still alive, he told her he sees now, after all his life of stressing out, worried over being accepted by God or not, as in he must do this or that, he know sees that God just loves him, and he went to campus crusade and died there

So as I have decided from that point on God is real, I have grown in every tragedy, and stood for Chirs tin all tragedies, knocked down quite a few times, and then came the blogsite
FREED AT LAST. Thank you for your comment, and I got to go know and clean the bathroom
Love to you. and Sis, just bloom wherever you are planted, and relive the stress by that, pray so

That is one amazing testimony, Homwardbound. I'm so glad you shared it here and that I had the opportunity to read it. No matter our circumstances, the Lord can do amazing things with the tragedies and sufferings we endure to grow us and to help us realise exactly how much we need Him. In our brokenness and neediness for a Saviour, he reveals Himself in ways you can't quite understand unless you were in that place. I love listening or hearing where people have come from, thanks again.

 

[kenthomas27]

picked a handful of first beans this afternoon and cooked them with some potatoes. They sure were good.

 

[rachelsedge]

Annnnnd another of my friends got engaged. That makes about 6 of my friends within 5 months.

Sigh.

I'm happy for them, I really am. I just feel...behind, I suppose. I know, I know, "I'm young." Actually, at this point in my life I'd be okay with just having a better paying job.