I'm staying up quite a bit later than normal because if I don't spend some time totally by myself each day, I turn back into a pumpkin at midnight. Or maybe not, but I do get really...really...cranky. Hence the frying pan scenario and whatnot earlier.
So, here I am at some number of minutes past midnight, NOT a pumpkin-
Oh hey, so, I went out and spent almost four bucks on CoffeMate's Pumpkin Spice creamer. And I used it in my coffee yesterday morning. And I was pretty sure I was going to throw up. I know the word "spice" kind of like, implies spiciness...sort of maybe some cinnamon flavoryness...but wow, that stuff burned and tasted awful.
Sick.
Anyway, I got to thinking tonight about how I'm always the "weird one" or the "crazy girl" or "ditzy". Sometimes people describe me as "nice" or "quiet" or "shy".
And I wonder, is that really all people see of me? WHAT IF...that's really all there IS to me? I think...that feels...bad. I mean, I'm not 100% sure that it does, but I know for certain it's definitely kind of uncomfortable to think that maybe that's all people think of me. I don't know that I'm making a lot of sense right now, but it's very hard to transfer what's in my head to written word.
I'm not even sure that I really think in words all the time. Colors, sounds, hurricanes...I think in weird ways. Or maybe I don't, and I just think I do, because I think I'm so very weird. Or...MAYBE...I'm not even all that weird, and only THINK I'm weird because people keep on telling me I am.
I don't mind if I'm the odd duck out. I just mind if I'm not shining brightly in the ways that matter, along with being a lunatic.