Do feel that being a virgin, is the cause for your singleness?

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gia

Guest
#1
#1
I don't know if it's just me, but from my experience every time I tell a guy that I am virgin and that I am waiting till marriage. They either run away or say they "respect that" but when we are alone they try to get me to give it up. Or if I do date it never last because they eventually expect sex.
So I started to think is being a virgin the cause for my singleness? Do you guys feel the same way sometimes?

....or then again the cause for singleness could be that I am crazy. ...crazy for Jesus that is..HAHA
 
T

Tintin

Guest
#2
#2
Sex is a very real temptation in relationships but I have great respect for girls who are waiting until they're married. I'm going to do the same thing. I wish there were more girls believing as you do.
 
O

OceanGrl

Guest
#3
#3
I think the key is finding someone like minded when it comes to waiting until marriage for sex. If a guy is going to try and tempt you or not respect your decision, then he isn't worth your time.
 
JimJimmers

JimJimmers

Senior Member
#4
Apr 26, 2012
2,592
76
48
#4
I think, Gia, that it's not so much being a virgin that is the cause of your singleness, but the fact that you won't give it away for nothing. It does limit the number of men who will date you, but that is not a bad thing at all. You only need one, and I hope he is of the highest standard. :)
 
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Tintin

Guest
#5
#5
I should probably answer your actual question, yes? No, I don't think my virginity is the reason for my singleness. I think my lack of confidence is and also the fact that I tend to like and get along well with girls who are either in a relationship, engaged or married. Obviously, they're completely out-of-bounds. I'm seen more as the funny, lovable guy friend rather than potential husband material. It's weird because I'm not a walking-mat but I'm still considered the 'nice' guy.
 
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Shouryu

Guest
#6
#6
You might want to direct your question specifically at women. Men have a different mindset, I think.

I was a virgin until I was 27, and that didn't dissuade ANYONE. *shrug*
 
I

iTOREtheSKY

Guest
#7
#7
I don't because I was married & am not a virgin. I think it's awesome you are still a virgin! Stay that way..never give in! Jesus will bless you with such a great reward once you finally marry. If any man even for one second acts distant or put off by your faith or beliefs,flee from him,as he's not worth the gift you can give him. Stay strong sister!
 
D

Donkeyfish07

Guest
#8
#8
Whatever you do don't give up. Hang on to your virginity and don't give it away to anybody except your future husband. If any guys don't want to spend time with you just because you won't have sex with them, your better off waiting for somebody more respectful to come along
 
Cee

Cee

Senior Member
#9
May 14, 2010
2,169
473
83
#9
I think you got a great red flag exposer. Even if he's a believer, but doesn't help you become more like Christ then you are unequally yoked. I'm not a virgin, but I am also waiting and if a girl doesn't also want to wait than I really have no business being with her.

I will tell you this though I have lost quite a few girlfriends because I wanted to wait or I was "too religious", but they don't reject you, but Jesus in you. And now I see that I really had no business being with them, especially since I want more than just a "average" life in the Lord. Like you said "Crazy for Jesus" ;)

My best advice? Chase God and see who's running next to you. And rather than trying to find the "One", let God transform you into a gift to be given. That's my personal focus.

C.
 
Jesusprincess

Jesusprincess

Junior Member
#10
May 5, 2013
22
1
3
#10
I am 28, and am kind of shy talking about this but because of you I will put this out there lol
I am a virgin, I do not like telling people that because I do not think is their business but in this case it should be helpful I guess. I have been waiting for the right guy and have found out that dating is not something I want to do until I actually know he is the right guy. just being friends is good to get to know the person that way he is not tempted to ask about that. I think that being alone and being in a place where you can be tempted will make you give up what you have been saving for such a long time. God made marriage a sacred thing and if you know his word , you know that you are doing the right thing by waiting on him. You are special why mess up the perfect moment with your prince for an unworthy moment where you can end up pregnant and rejected. Pray for God to give you strength and you will find the perfect guy. as for me I will still wait and pray for the perfect guy :)
 
maxwel

maxwel

Senior Member
#11
Apr 18, 2013
9,526
2,608
113
#11
gia said:
I don't know if it's just me, but from my experience every time I tell a guy that I am virgin and that I am waiting till marriage. They either run away or say they "respect that" but when we are alone they try to get me to give it up. Or if I do date it never last because they eventually expect sex.
So I started to think is being a virgin the cause for my singleness? Do you guys feel the same way sometimes?

....or then again the cause for singleness could be that I am crazy. ...crazy for Jesus that is..HAHA
Click to expand...
Maybe they run away out of shock.

Few people in the U.S. have ever actually seen a virgin.

It's kinda like bigfoot.
You hear stories, but most people don't think they really exist.
: )
 
ChosenbyHim

ChosenbyHim

Senior Member
#12
Sep 19, 2011
3,343
113
63
#12
gia said:
I don't know if it's just me, but from my experience every time I tell a guy that I am virgin and that I am waiting till marriage. They either run away or say they "respect that" but when we are alone they try to get me to give it up. Or if I do date it never last because they eventually expect sex.
So I started to think is being a virgin the cause for my singleness? Do you guys feel the same way sometimes?

....or then again the cause for singleness could be that I am crazy. ...crazy for Jesus that is..HAHA
Click to expand...


Well Gia, if the guy that you are seeing is constantly trying to get you in bed, then just cut off that relationship. First of all, you should consider only Christian men. For we are not to be unequally yoked to unbelievers. Now I am aware that that also applies to other kind of relationships, but especially for your potential life partner.


You should be real glad that you are still a virgin. That you still have your purity. I am sure that is a rarity in these days which we are living in.


You should want a man who will be excited about serving the Lord just like you are. And obviously the man you decide to consider needs to have the same moral standards and convictions about intimacy as you do.


I do believe that marriage and any type of intimacy is only for marriage. And that includes kissing.
I too am single and I am 27 and I am not exactly sure why I still am single. But it really doesn't bother me too much.


The only time when I start dwelling a little bit on the fact that I am still single is when I see other couples out and about enjoying each other's company. So that is really the only time I dwell on it. But other that, I am fine with still being single. It helps me to continue to place my trust and faith in God.


If we are not careful though, sometimes if we begin to dwell on why we haven't found our potential life partner, that is if we dwell on it too much, some bitterness can start to form. That's why it is so important that while you are still single, serve the Lord as much as you can. Being that you are still young and full of energy. And one of the sure ways to fight depression from creeping up in this area and aspect of your life is to read the Holy Bible every day, be in prayer every day, and to reach out and do soul winning.


Also, I think it's beautiful how God created the whole relationship and intimacy factor between a married couple. And even more so when a Christian married couple truly keeps Christ at the center of their marriage and family. That is precious.


And it is very vexing and sad to see how the the media, the Sodomites, and hollywood constantly mock traditional marriage and family values, and purity.


Well, remain strong Gia. Trust the Lord with this. And wait on Him. If it is His will for you to be married someday, then just know that he has the right husband for you.


Shalom,



[SUP]31 [/SUP]For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh.
[SUP]32 [/SUP]This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church.
[SUP]33 [/SUP]Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband. - Ephesians 5:31-33 (King James Bible)
 
maxwel

maxwel

Senior Member
#13
Apr 18, 2013
9,526
2,608
113
#13
Seriously though,

If you tell a guy you're going to remain a virgin till marriage, and he runs away...
good for you.

It's God's way of protecting you from jerks.

Be happy.
: )
 
G

gia

Guest
#14
#14
Jesusprincess said:
I am 28, and am kind of shy talking about this but because of you I will put this out there lol
I am a virgin, I do not like telling people that because I do not think is their business but in this case it should be helpful I guess. I have been waiting for the right guy and have found out that dating is not something I want to do until I actually know he is the right guy. just being friends is good to get to know the person that way he is not tempted to ask about that. I think that being alone and being in a place where you can be tempted will make you give up what you have been saving for such a long time. God made marriage a sacred thing and if you know his word , you know that you are doing the right thing by waiting on him. You are special why mess up the perfect moment with your prince for an unworthy moment where you can end up pregnant and rejected. Pray for God to give you strength and you will find the perfect guy. as for me I will still wait and pray for the perfect guy :)
Click to expand...

Oh you shouldn't be shy, I have always been open about telling people that I am virgin. It's who I am and it is what makes me unique. I just lay it out there LOL. But you are right when you say that it really isn't anyone's business. Because it is your own personal business. Thank you for your insight.
 
G

gia

Guest
#15
#15
maxwel said:
Seriously though,

If you tell a guy you're going to remain a virgin till marriage, and he runs away...
good for you.

It's God's way of protecting you from jerks.

Be happy.
: )
Click to expand...
That's very true, it took me a long time to realize that.
 
J

jimmydiggs

Guest
#16
#16
Nah, the singleness is the cause of my virginity. :)
 
G

gia

Guest
#17
#17
Tintin said:
I should probably answer your actual question, yes? No, I don't think my virginity is the reason for my singleness. I think my lack of confidence is and also the fact that I tend to like and get along well with girls who are either in a relationship, engaged or married. Obviously, they're completely out-of-bounds. I'm seen more as the funny, lovable guy friend rather than potential husband material. It's weird because I'm not a walking-mat but I'm still considered the 'nice' guy.
Click to expand...
And is that frustrating for you? Or have you accepted always being "the nice guy"
 
T

Tintin

Guest
#18
#18
Hi Gia.
Yes, to be perfectly honest it was incredibly frustrating for me in my university days (it happened often) and I did grow bitter about it. But I've matured since then and now I'm just content to be who God created me to be. I still don't like the 'nice guy' label but it doesn't define me, Christ does.

gia said:
And is that frustrating for you? Or have you accepted always being "the nice guy"
Click to expand...
 
G

gia

Guest
#19
#19
Cee said:
I think you got a great red flag exposer. Even if he's a believer, but doesn't help you become more like Christ then you are unequally yoked. I'm not a virgin, but I am also waiting and if a girl doesn't also want to wait than I really have no business being with her.

I will tell you this though I have lost quite a few girlfriends because I wanted to wait or I was "too religious", but they don't reject you, but Jesus in you. And now I see that I really had no business being with them, especially since I want more than just a "average" life in the Lord. Like you said "Crazy for Jesus" ;)

My best advice? Chase God and see who's running next to you. And rather than trying to find the "One", let God transform you into a gift to be given. That's my personal focus.

C.
Click to expand...
Thank you for you advice. Very true
 
G

gia

Guest
#20
#20
Tintin said:
Hi Gia.
Yes, to be perfectly honest it was incredibly frustrating for me in my university days (it happened often) and I did grow bitter about it. But I've matured since then and now I'm just content to be who God created me to be. I still don't like the 'nice guy' label but it doesn't define me, Christ does.
Click to expand...
I value your answer and your right it doesn't define you.
 
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